“I ordered some books online last night.” I don’t know why I tell her, but it’s out now.
She tilts her head to the side and studies me quietly for several moments. “You did?”
I shove my hands in my pockets and rock on my heels. “Yeah. I like being prepared.”
“I like that.” She blinks with her hurt eye and flinches. “Ah, damn it.”
“I’m so sorry.” My stomach is still in knots over seeing her hurt, and I wouldn’t mind hitting a punching bag a time or twenty to let out some of this tension. If it was up to me, I’d snatch her up, take her home, and nurse her back to health. “Are you ready to leave?”
She blows a strand of hair out of her face. “Yes. Sorry about the breakfast screwup.”
“Don’t be.” I gaze around to see if there’s anything I can take for her, but she only has her purse slung across her body and nothing else. “Do you want me to drive you home?”
The grimace she makes is so adorable, I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Maybe not the best moment for that. “Actually, I was thinking of getting breakfast anyway, if you’re still up for it?”
“Are you sure?”
She nods before tugging on her sweatpants. “Even though I grabbed the first thing I could find this morning, so I’m not exactly dressed to go out.”
“Do you want to pick up something and eat at my place?”
“That sounds perfect.” The smile that appears on her face is small but beautiful.
It’s also the exact same smile she first gave me when our gazes met at the bar on New Year’s. It was the very first thing I noticed about her because it’s absolutely breathtaking. And neither the sweats, T-shirt and cardigan combo, nor the makeup-free face take away from it.
“Let me call in some food, and we can pick it up on the way.”
“Sounds good.”
I’m relieved she still wants to spend time with me after everything that happened. I really wanted to make good use of the time with her before she’s going to fly back to New York. We’ll obviously be able to talk on the phone then, but it’s not the same as actually spending time together.
Her hand disappears in her purse, and she gets it back out with her car keys dangling from her fingers. “Should I meet you at your place?”
I stare at her for a moment. “You want to drive?”
“Uh, yeah. I don’t want to leave my stepmom’s car here.”
My insides clench. Once more, I just want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her off to safety. “Is it even safe for you to drive?”
Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. “The doctor said everything seems normal. I just need to be more careful in the morning and all that. Besides that, I can continue as usual.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Ryan.” Her hand lands on my arm. “I’m fine. If I don’t feel good, I’ll pull over and call you, promise.”
I grunt, my molars already working overtime today. But isn’t this how it’s going to be every moment of the day when we’re on different coasts with almost three thousand miles between us? I already hate it.
Harper’s hand disappears from my arm, and I watch it vanish into her purse once more. This time she gets a small piece of paper, holding it out toward me. “This is for you.”
I can’t see what it is, but I have a guess, which is enough for my stomach to tighten. I take the flimsy paper from Harper, and just as I suspected, it’s an ultrasound.
Harper leans across the space separating us and points at a tiny white blip on the otherwise dark photo. “There’s our little bean.”
I’m not sure how long I stare at the white blip, but I can’t look away. How is this real? How can that be a baby? A part of me. Something I unknowingly made.
And how is it going to fit in my busy life?