I wipe away the moisture under my eyes from all the yawning. “Yeah, it hasn’t been too bad. Just some nausea here and there and a lot more bathroom visits than usual. Nothing terribly bad.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah, I—” My phone beeps in my purse, and I automatically tuck it closer to my body. “Sorry about that. That’s probably my dad. He wanted to meet me for lunch, so I probably should be going.”
“Oh.” He breaks eye contact with me.
Is he disappointed I’m about to leave?
I brush my hands over my leggings and push myself off the couch, and Ryan follows suit.
He stands so close to me I have to tilt my head back to properly see him.
“Can we meet up again while you’re here? I’d love to spend some more time with you.” His deep voice is like a soothing balm, taking away some of the nerves that want to cling to me from his words.
Clinging to the strap of my purse, I nod. “I’d love that.”
The desire to be still, to relish this moment as relief washes over me is almost overpowering, especially since I didn’t expect it. Sure, I was nervous about telling him, afraid he’d yell at me before kicking me to the curb, or worse, accuse me of lying, but I didn’t realize how much I wanted his acceptance and support.
Ryan grabs his phone from his pocket, and I do the same, so we can exchange numbers.
When he asks for my last name, my heart does a frantic jump, and I get ready for the next white lie to slip past my lips. “Uh, it’s Barnes.”
I almost told him my real last name, Martin, but then he’d probably put two and two together. My mom always told me to use her maiden name, Barnes, in situations where I don’t want to be found easily, which is the case right now.
“Got it.” He puts his phone back in his pocket and purses his lips. “Dang it, I have business meetings going on after training for the next two days, but I could meet on Sunday if you’re free.”
“No worries, I know you’re busy. Let’s do Sunday.”
“Do you want to meet for breakfast?”
“I’d love to.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Ryan opens the door for me, and despite the fact that I really wouldn’t mind a hug, especially after this emotional day, I step through the door with an awkward wave and an almost-stumble.
“Take good care of you two.”
“Will do.” I get the car keys out of my purse and hold on to them with all my might.
“Bye, Harper.”
“Bye, Ryan.” I give one more wave. All I can focus on next is setting one foot in front of the other as I make my way back to my stepmom’s car.
The instant I’m safely in my seat and firmly buckled in, I finally succumb to the desire and peer back to the house.
Ryan’s still standing in the same spot I left him a minute ago, with one hand on the door and the other one on the doorframe. Like he needs the support to stay upright, and maybe he does.
I still feel like falling to the floor in a heap of shock and disbelief over this situation. And why shouldn’t I? Or why shouldn’t he? It’s one of the biggest changes that can happen to someone’s life.
Especially since it’s all happening at such an inconvenient time, but such seems life. I should know that after the last year I’ve had. Apparently, that was only the beginning of the havoc.
In retrospect, losing my job, having my friend move across the world, heck, even my divorce seems so small in comparison. None of those things will have as big of an impact on my life as my body making an actual human being. A real person. Someone I’ll be responsible for. For a very long time.
All I can hope now is that whoever is pulling those strings is done and this is the grand finale of sorts.
This is pretty much all I can handle.