Her expression was wistful. ‘Because I was alone. And so lonely. I never had many friends, and I wasn’t close to Mum and Dad. Lewis was...he was my world.’
Dimitrios moved closer, nodding slowly.
‘And then you came to me and for one night, one brief, wonderful night, I felt like everything was going to be okay.’ She was too caught up in her memories to worry about how much she was revealing. It was the truth, and suddenly she had a burning impulse to unburden herself of it. ‘I felt so connected to you and I needed that.’ She pressed a hand to her stomach, remembering what it had been like to be pregnant. ‘Finding out I was pregnant was a lifeline when I needed it most. A baby bound me to the outside world, to you and to Lewis. A baby was someone to be strong for.’
He moved closer, pressing his forehead to hers. ‘You are so strong, Annabelle. The strongest person I’ve ever known.’
She lifted her shoulders. ‘I’ve been what I had to be.’
His breath whispered against her cheek. ‘Seeing the way my mother suffered because of my dad, I can’t believe how you’ve suffered.’
‘It’s not the same.’
‘Really? Because I have the strangest sense that history’s been repeating itself.’
‘Your dad was indifferent to your mum’s situation. You didn’t know about mine.’
There was silence in the room, just the sound of his breathing and hers mingling, mixing, faster than breathing should have been given that they were sitting down.
‘I would have done this sooner if I had.’
She couldn’t say why, but his words didn’t relax her. If anything, it was a reminder that their whole situation came down to his sense of duty and obligation, rather than anything to do with him wanting to be with her by choice.
‘Have you really not had the opportunity to meet anyone since me?’
‘I haven’t had the inclination,’ she murmured huskily. Then, thinking it sounded as though she’d been pining for him, she quickly added, ‘I had to be a mum and dad for Max. I wanted him to know that I was always there for him.’ She bit down on her lip. ‘Between Max and work, I’ve had my hands full.’
More silence, heavier this time, and with every second that passed Annie felt her awareness of Dimitrios increasing until her blood felt as though it had turned to lava in her veins.
‘And you?’ she whispered in an attempt to hold on to sanity, to remember who they were and what this marriage was really about. ‘I suppose life went on as usual for you.’
A frown briefly marred his handsome face. ‘Largely, yes.’ There was an uneasiness in admitting that.
Her smile showed a hint of sadness. ‘Relax. It was one night. It’s not like I expected you to stay celibate afterwards.’ She laughed to put him at ease but it sounded brittle, even to her own ears.
‘The thing is, I was so full of regrets.’
She flinched a little, but didn’t move away.
‘Sleeping with you was a betrayal of my closest friend. I’d promised Lewis I’d look out for you and instead I’d done the exact opposite. I was harsher to you than I needed to be, simply because I had to make sure you didn’t continue to harbour any feelings for me. At the time, I was sure that I was doing the right thing.’ His smile was tight. ‘I wanted to forget you.’
Realisation dawned. ‘So you did what you c
ould to make that happen? Sleeping with other women to expunge me from your memory?’
His eyes widened. ‘Not consciously. And not so cynically. But, yes, Annabelle. I hoped I would simply forget you as time went on.’
She knew that he hadn’t, though. He’d already said as much.
His voice was a husky growl. ‘I wish I could tell you something different.’
She shook her head. ‘Why?’
‘Because you deserve that.’
Her stomach squeezed. ‘You never made me any promises, Dimitrios.’
‘Didn’t I?’ His smile was ghost-like. He stood, and the distance he put between them was like a yawning barrier she ached to cross. ‘Perhaps you’re right. But I’ve made you promises now, Annabelle. I won’t hurt you like that again. I will never let our chemistry dictate what happens between us—if we sleep together, it will be because you decide it’s right, not because our bodies can’t control themselves. And I will do whatever I can to make you happy here in this marriage. Okay?’