‘You’re saying you haven’t been with anyone since me?’
She lifted the cup to her lips, needing a minute. Her brain was going haywire.
‘Annabelle?’
God, how she loved that he used her full name. He always had done. She forced herself to look at him, her eyes raking his face. ‘You’re the only man I’ve ever been with.’
He flinched a little, clearly shocked by this. ‘But it’s been seven years.’
‘We just discussed that.’
‘But you’re... How have you gone so long without sex?’
She laughed; she couldn’t help it, but sadness flooded her because it was obvious from his response that such an idea was anathema to him. How many women had he been with since her? She didn’t want to consider that.
‘That night was—I’d been drinking.’ He dragged a hand through his hair, moving closer. ‘Honestly, I can’t even remember if I was as attentive as you deserved. I just know it was your first time and that I hadn’t expected that.’ He brushed his finger down her arm and she drew in a shuddering breath.
‘You were...attentive.’
His hand moved towards her wrist.
‘Even drunk, I guess you knew what you were doing. Like you’ve already said, it didn’t matter who you were with, it was just sex.’
His lips compressed. ‘I should never have said that.’
‘It was the truth, though, right?’
He frowned, his handsome, symmetrical face shifting into something approximating a grimace. ‘I needed...a human connection.’
She shifted a little, and her knee brushed his, a thousand sparks shooting through her. ‘And I was there.’
He shook his head, lifting a hand to her hair, stroking it. ‘You were so brave at the funeral. I was watching you and the way you stood, the way you comforted your parents and were strong for them.’ His voice was low and husky and it did something to Annie’s insides. ‘And all I could think about afterwards was how you must be feeling. Who was comforting you?’
Her heart trembled.
‘I’d promised Lewis I’d look after you, but it was more than that. I wanted to make sure you were okay too. But that was all, Annabelle. That’s why I went to you. And then you opened the door and a need I couldn’t...wouldn’t...control overtook me. I have spent the last seven years hating how weak I was in that moment, but maybe it was bigger than weak or strong. Maybe it was just...right.’
Had he moved, or had she? They were closer now, and she breathed in, tasting him on the tip of her tongue. ‘It felt right.’ It had. Right up until the morning, when he’d left and reality had come crashing down on her.
‘You’re Lewis’s sister.’
She nodded slowly.
‘You’re the last person I should have gone to, should have slept with.’ He groaned. ‘You were a virgin, and I was drunk. Everything about it was wrong.’
‘No.’
It was a simple answer, straight from her heart.
‘It really wasn’t.’ She put her hand on his knee and he frowned in response. ‘Stop torturing yourself for that night. I could have stopped it at any time. I could have pushed you away, told you to wait. I knew you’d been drinking and I knew you were as emotional about Lewis as I was.’ She lifted a finger to his lips, silencing anything he might have said in response. ‘If either of us was selfish, it was me. I’d had a crush on you for years and I couldn’t let you walk away. I took what you offered because I needed it. I wanted you to be my first.’
His eyes flashed with comprehension; something moved deep in their depths.
‘But you didn’t want to get pregnant,’ he growled, still obviously blaming himself.
‘No,’ she agreed. ‘But when I found out I was pregnant I was happy, Dimitrios. The idea of having your child was never a disaster for me. Even when I saw you at the club, and realised it was something I’d probably need to do alone, I was okay.’
‘How can that be?’