Melinda was quiet; she could tell Olivia was only halfway through expressing a thought.
“Perhaps because of the way we met,” she murmured, her eyes beseeching Melinda to understand.
“Of course,” she said, though she knew very little of that.
“He was at his lowest ebb.” Olivia shivered. “It’s impossible to reconcile this Ra’if, the one you know, with the man I first met.” She reached across, placing her hands over Melinda’s. “He’s come so far, but Zamir and I will never stop worrying. Serious relationships are one of the things we were warned about; one of the things that could lead to addicts regressing in their recovery.”
Addicts.
Recovery.
Regressing.
Addicts.
Regressing.
Addicts.
The words were coming to Melinda from a long way away. She knew her face must have been glowing bright red because it felt like fire had scored her skin.
“We’re not serious,” she heard herself say, pulling her hands away and crouching back to the floor. She dabbed the carpet furiously, while her mind tried, and failed, to make sense of what Olivia had said. Was there any way she’d misunderstood?
“It took him a very long time to conquer those demons, Melinda. And I watched him fight. I don’t want to see him fall at this hurdle.”
“Hurdle?” She croaked, lifting up a little to make eye contact with the beautiful princess.
“Loving someone and being rejected is not easy.” Her face was so expressive. Melinda could easily see that Olivia meant no harm. She was trying to protect Ra’if, and conversely, unexpectedly, Melinda liked her all the more for that.
Melinda stood, her mind hammering against the side of her head.
“I …” She closed her eyes, grabbing the back of the chair for support. “I could never be serious about an addict. Recovered or otherwise.” It was the moment; she felt her heart cleave almost completely in two. “Excuse me.”
She moved quickly through the apartment, her only thought on escape.
“Honey?” She found Jordan lying on the floor, an elaborate Lego construction before him. “We have to go.”
“What? You said …”
“I know what I said,” she spoke more sternly than she ever had to her son. “But we’re leaving. Now.”
The unusual nature of his mother’s manner and request struck a nerve inside Jordan and he stood quickly, placing his little hand in hers, allowing her to lead him back to the shiny elevator doors. Olivia emerged, Ra’if beside her, at that moment.
“Azeezi?” Ra’if asked, studying her carefully.
Melinda couldn’t meet his eyes. Fury was blinding her. She knew that if she didn’t escape – fast – she was going to have a full blown meltdown, and she wouldn’t do that in front of Jordan.
But her feelings were violently lurching through her.
He had betrayed her.
How could he have said he was falling in love with her, knowing he was keeping such a vital secret from her? She, who had every reason in the world to mistrust addicts?
“Yes?” She asked coldly, her face pinched.
“What is it? What’s the matter?”
She wanted to shout! She wanted to shout all kinds of obscenities and furies at him. But she didn’t. It was yet another way in which she subjugated her first instincts for her son’s best interests.