‘That you’re not over me. That you want me in your life until it suits you for me to leave, and not a moment beyond that. And what about me, Cesare?’
‘I told you, you’d have everything you could ever want.’
‘What if all I want is you?’
He looked confused, as though such an idea had never occurred to him.
‘You’d have me. Every night, just like you have this last couple of weeks.’
‘No.’ She shook her head with urgency. ‘That’s not what I mean.’
‘Well, what do you mean? What do you want? I will give you anything if you’ll agree to this.’
His words pulled at something inside her, something that forced her to dig deep and really see what she’d perhaps known all along. His offer should have been tempting, on some level. More of Cesare? Even one more month, knowing the end would come, was still something. But she knew each day would be agony, that to accept his terms with the knowledge he intended to end it would be a form of barbarous torture.
She straightened, moving away from the wall, pacing towards the windows that framed the spectacular view of the ocean.
‘Meaning what, exactly?’ Her voice was hoarse, her tender heart trying to come to grips with the realisations that were exploding through her.
‘Almer Hall will be unencumbered. All you have to do is say the word.’
‘And you’ll call my bank and pay millions more pounds, just so I’ll make love to you until you decide you don’t want me?’ She whirled around, grabbing onto her fury with both hands, glad to have it, infinitely glad to feel it, needing its barren echo to rattle her into sense. ‘And i
f I want more? Credit cards? Dresses? Diamonds?’
His eyes widened for a moment and then he shrugged, his expression so loaded with determination that her heart swelled in pain for him. How little did he value himself to think such luxuries would ever be necessary?
‘If you wish.’
‘No, damn it!’ She waved her hand through the air emphatically and his eyes followed the gesture, watching her in the way he had that was so intense it was like a caress.
‘Damn it.’ She groaned again. ‘Do you really think I want any of that?’
‘You have told me how much Almer Hall means to you,’ he said quietly.
‘I know!’ Fury eclipsed everything else. She spun away from him, staring at the ocean, its endless rolling towards the shore something from which she would ordinarily have taken reassurance. But she didn’t. Not then. She couldn’t.
‘And that you would use that knowledge to blackmail...after everything...’
‘It’s not blackmail,’ he denied. ‘This is me giving you what you want, and us both getting what I think we need: more time together.’
‘And if I let you do this, you’d be proved right in what you said last night, and I will never let you think me capable of that.’
She wasn’t looking at him, so didn’t see the surprise that crossed his features.
‘This wasn’t about the hedge fund for me, Cesare. I meant that. I simply wanted to be with you, and I still do.’
His exhalation of breath spoke of relief, but she whirled around to look at him then, grief in every line of her body.
‘But you’ll never give me what I really want, and spending another night with you, knowing what your limits are, knowing what you think of me...’ Her voice cracked and she had to pause to take a breath and calm her breaking heart. ‘It’s not possible. It would be hell on earth.’
But he wasn’t ready to let this go. ‘I’ve just told you I will give you anything.’
‘Not this.’
‘What? What do you want?’ He moved towards her, and she flinched, not out of fear of him so much as a fear of how readily she could weaken and give in, just to have more time with him. That alone was a reason to stand firm, to hold her ground, because it would destroy her to spend more time with him under these conditions.
‘I want more.’