And then, comprehension dawned. A wave of nausea crested inside her as she tumbled over that cliff, the little buggy she was in not equal to the pressure being exerted on it any longer.
Grateful for the wall at her back, she used it for support, staring at him for several long seconds. Had she misunderstood?
We all have our price—at least yours was charged in the service of something noble.
That was what he truly thought of her. She blinked, and for a second she felt a rush of hatred for him. Hatred that was all the more intense for the fact she didn’t hate him at all and her heart knew that. Her heart knew why this hurt her so badly, why after everything she’d been through, why a woman who had—as he’d said—become adept at pushing people away, should feel his insult at the very centre of her being.
‘You’re saying you’ll help me. But only if I accept this...proposition?’
His eyes flared with something she didn’t comprehend.
‘I’m offering to give you everything you could ever want,’ he said simply, neatly avoiding having to answer the accusation she’d laid at his feet.
But he was so wrong! Wrong in every way.
‘No.’ A whisper. ‘You only think you are.’
His finger pressed to her chin, lifting her face to his, his eyes probing hers. His question was raw, though, his words dragged from deep within him. ‘Are you saying you want this to be the end? That you would wish to stick to the original terms of our agreement?’
She could fight the tears no longer. They filled her eyes, and she shook her head, knowing her voice would tremble if she tried to speak.
Relief crossed his features, followed closely by triumph. ‘And nor do I. This is the solution.’ He took her silence for tacit approval. ‘Come to Rome with me for one month. You will have everything provided, but most of all I will clear Almer Hall of all debts. One month as my mistress and you can spend the rest of your life knowing your family’s home is safe, that your parents can live without worry.’
A sob filled her lungs. She swallowed it away. ‘Just like you said?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Everyone has their price?’
For the smallest sliver of time, she saw remorse glimmer in the depths of his eyes, but then it was gone, arrogance replacing it. ‘It was not intended as an insult.’
She made a snorting noise then, shaking her head. ‘You don’t think?’
‘I wasn’t speaking specifically about you—this could apply to anyone.’
‘I don’t believe that.’
‘Believe it or not, it’s the way the world works. I’m not saying Almer Hall is the only reason you’ll agree to this, but I know that it makes it easier for you to say yes to what I’m offering.’
‘You’re wrong,’ she insisted. ‘The terms you’ve laid out make it harder. If you’d asked me to stay with you longer purely because you don’t want me to go, because you can’t bear to wake up tomorrow without me in your bed and in your life, then I would have said yes a thousand times over. But to agree to be your mistress on the same mercenary terms as before—after everything we’ve shared—how can you think me capable of that?’
His eyes shifted with something dark.
‘Why do you want me to stay?’ she demanded, unable to believe the worst of him, even with all the evidence at her feet.
A muscle jerked in his jaw, as though he were clenching his teeth.
‘Tell me.’
He was silent.
‘Say it. I need to understand what’s brought you to this point. I need to know what you feel.’
‘What I feel?’ Finally he spoke, the words bursting from him, showing his frustration and impatience. ‘I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. I presumed two weeks with you would be enough, and it hasn’t been. I know I’ll get over this—that I’ll get over you—but I need more time. I need more of you.’
‘Wow.’ She swept her eyes shut for a second. ‘I’ve never heard myself talked about as though I were a narcotic before.’
He grimaced. ‘I only meant—’