Love spread through me like wildfire—for this damaged, determined, indomitable man.
‘Of course I will,’ I said as I flung my arms over his broad shoulders and let his soft laugh wrap around my heart.
EPILOGUE
Three months later
Alexi
THE WINTER SUN warmed my face as I stood beside my brother’s grave with Belle’s hand gripped tightly in mine and our son perched on my hip. I had never had the courage to return to this place until today, scared the immense sadness—and the terrible guilt over Remy’s death that had crippled me for so long—would return.
The deep, aching loss was still there, of course, as I knew it always would be, but I didn’t feel hollow and empty any more. The hole in my heart was tempered by joy. Not just the remembered joy of being Remy’s brother, but the new joy of being Cai’s father and the all-consuming joy of becoming, as of an hour ago, Belle’s husband.
I still missed my brother, I always would, and I knew Belle would too. Her slender body in the seductive white velvet wedding gown she had worn in the chapel as she’d pledged herself to me did nothing to stem the shudder of emotion running through her as her green eyes met mine. Her hand squeezed my fingers tight. Sweetly reassuring but also life-affirming.
‘Who are we meeting here, Daddy?’ Cai asked, his inquisitive blue eyes and that dimpled smile making my heart skip a beat. ‘I can’t see anyone.’
‘We can’t meet him, Cai,’ I said, my voice rough as the sense of loss sharpened. I cleared my throat, determined finally to introduce my son to his uncle, the way I
should have done months ago.
I knelt beside the grave, placing Cai gently on his feet to point out the grave stone. ‘Because sadly Remy, my brother and your uncle, isn’t here with us any more. But this is where he is buried. I thought we could come to his grave and say hello to him. Today is a very special day for us all because you and your mummy became Galantis.’
The surge of pride that had hit me earlier, when Belle had said, ‘I do,’ and Cai had leapt into my arms after our kiss, made my chest ache all over again. ‘And Remy is a Galanti too.’
‘Remy is my extra name,’ Cai said, looking thoughtful.
‘I know,’ I replied. ‘Your mummy gave you that name because she loved Remy too, just like I did.’
‘Where did he go, Daddy?’
I heard Belle cough and sniff, and guessed the emotion was probably choking her the way it was choking me. But I sent her a smile and squeezed her fingers back.
‘I’ve got this,’ I mouthed at her.
‘He went to Heaven,’ I said to our son. ‘But I know he would have loved to meet you.’
Cai wrapped his small arm around my neck and stared at the grave stone. ‘Did he like racing cars, like I do?’
I let out a raw chuckle, the feel of his sturdy body beside mine—so trusting, so affectionate—making the emotion thicken my throat again. ‘He liked racing cars the best of all, just like you do.’
‘Will he come back? So I can show him my racing cars?’ Cai asked.
I shook my head, not quite able to speak. ‘No,’ I managed at last. ‘He can’t come back. But he’s here.’ I pressed a hand to my heart. ‘Always, just like you and Mummy are. Because I loved him very much, just the way I love you two.’
I scrubbed away the tear that slipped over my lid, but then I heard Belle stifle a sob.
Cai’s head whipped around. ‘Why are you crying, Mummy?’ he asked. ‘Are you sad?’
Belle shook her head, wiping her tears away with the heel of her hand as she sent us both a radiant smile. My heart expanded even more than it had an hour ago when she had walked down the aisle towards me in the stunning dress and Cai had skipped behind her, throwing petals around as if they were grenades.
‘I’m sad and happy at the same time,’ she said.
Cai giggled. ‘That’s silly, Mummy.’
‘I know,’ she said. Her eyes connected with mine over our son’s head, the teary smile becoming tender. ‘I’m sad that Remy isn’t here, but happy that he’ll always be with us in our hearts. And I know he would be so happy that we have each other...’ She pressed a hand to her stomach, the way I’d noticed her do several times in the past week. ‘And that we’re going to have a new Galanti baby to join us in eight months’ time.’
‘What...?’ I croaked, the joy and shock blindsiding me as Cai began to dance with excitement.