My heart galloped into my throat at the sincerity in his voice.
And two things occurred to me at once: that although he was unaware of it Alexi, who guarded his heart so fiercely, had already lost it to his son and how selfish and immature I had been to believe even for a minute, let alone five years, that Alexi would not be a good father to our child when he had been such a good brother to Remy.
‘I know,’ I said, realising the only way I could undo the damage I had caused by keeping my secret was to support and encourage Alexi as much as I could now.
‘But now we must talk of the other elephant in the room,’ Alexi said.
He cupped my cheek and the buzz in my stomach ignited all over again. His thumb trailed across my lips, lips still tender from his kiss.
‘What elephant?’ I asked, my voice husky enough to sandpaper one of the luxury yachts anchored in the bay.
Alexi’s lips quirked into a sensual smile. And I knew he could hear the husky invitation in my voice too. ‘I still want you, Belle, and you want me. And I see no reason for us not to satisfy this burning hunger for each other while I learn how to be a father to our son.’
‘We...we can’t.’ I stepped back, desperate to break the spell he could so easily weave around me. His hand dropped away but I could still feel the warmth of his palm, the roughness of the callused skin against my cheek.
‘You said this before, but you didn’t give me an answer. Why can’t we?’ he asked. There was no aggression, only mild curiosity, as if he were dealing with a skittish mare who needed to be handled gently but firmly.
‘I did give you an answer. We can’t, because it would be too confusing for Cai.’
‘Why would it be confusing for him? We have already told him we’re friends. It is not as if we would be making love in front of him,’ he said.
‘He’s only just met you. I don’t think...’ I began, but he silenced me with a touch.
‘You must trust me, Belle. I will not neglect him. When I am with him, my focus will be on him. My relationship with him is not dependent on my relationship with you.’
I already knew this to be true from his impassioned response a moment ago.
‘Okay, but I still think it’ll be too much having him know we’re a couple...’
‘Why will it?’ he persisted. ‘Surely you must have taken other men to your bed in the last four years? How did you explain them to our son?’ I heard the distinct edge in his voice but ignored it. How could he possibly be jealous when he was the one who had discarded me? And, anyway, there was nothing to be jealous of. I had never taken any other men to my bed.
‘I... I didn’t,’ I said. ‘I mean, Cai never met any of them,’ I added, hating the need to lie. But how could I tell Alexi he was the only man I had ever slept with when he was already behaving like a cave man? ‘I always kept my sex life separate from our home life, precisely so he wouldn’t get confused. I didn’t want him becoming attached to someone as a father figure who would not be a permanent part of my life.’
‘That does not apply here, though, does it?’ he said, and I suddenly realised my lie had allowed him neatly to outmanoeuvre me. ‘I am not a father figure—I am his father. I will always have an attachment to him, no matter whether we are sleeping together or not, so there’s no reason to keep our liaison a secret from him. Or for us not to pursue this hunger in the hours we have alone together.’
‘What—what hours?’ I said, stammering as he pressed his palm to my cheek again. I could not hide the shudder of reaction. ‘You’re a busy man, and I need to be focused on getting Cai settled here before I start a demanding new job in three weeks’ time...’ I was babbling now, his touch making my heartbeat race and my pulse sink deep into my sex as he stroked my cheek. His hand strayed to my neck, his thumb rubbing the thundering pulse in my collar bone.
‘I have cleared my schedule for the next few weeks—let’s see what happens,’ he murmured, before placing a possessive kiss on my lips.
My breath shuddered out, my mouth opening to accept so much more, my surrender complete. But he drew back at the sound of Cai’s footsteps running back down the corridor.
‘I’m ready!’ Cai shouted as he appeared. But then he stopped and tilted his head to one side. ‘Mummy, your face is all red,’ he announced in the way children have of stating the obvious. ‘Why?’
I pressed my hands to my cheeks, my face igniting even more at Alexi’s smile. His large hand settled on the small of my back, making me feel owned, before he pressed a kiss to my temple.
‘I just kissed your mummy,’ he said. ‘I hope you don’t mind,’ he added, asking my son’s permission in a way that made my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.
‘Yuck, I hate kissing,’ Cai replied. ‘It’s so boring.’
I found myself choking out a laugh alongside Alexi’s deep chuckle.
‘You may change your mind about that when you’re older,’ Alexi announced, recovering his cool a lot quicker than I could. ‘But enough talk of boring stuff,’ he added, folding his son’s small hand in his. ‘Let’s go check out the new Galanti X.’
Jessie appeared with Cai’s coat and a bag full of toys just in case he got bored during the trip, something I suspected was unlikely, as he stared at his father with something akin to hero worship in his eyes.
As they made their way to the door, Jessie excused herself, neatly manoeuvring me into going with Alexi instead. A part of me still wanted to object, but Alexi sent me a look that clearly said he had no intention of letting me retreat behind my ‘it’s too confusing for Cai’ shell again.
And I realised the only way to convince him I wasn’t running any more was to go with them both today.