Alexi thrust his fingers through his hair and let out a deep sigh.
‘You’re right. I had not considered that. And I should have,’ he added. ‘I’ll find someone else for the reserve driver position.’
I stood and placed my fingers on his arm. ‘It’s okay, Alexi. This is all new to you, I get that,’ I said, trying to soothe the flicker of guilt.
His forearm tensed and something else, something hot and volatile, danced in his eyes.
I dropped my hand and tucked it into my pocket. Touching Alexi was not a good idea.
‘It’ll take a while for you to put Cai’s interests first. It’s an adjustment we all have to make when we become parents—and you’ve only effectively been a parent for a week.’
He nodded. His gaze still seared me. ‘This is true, but that’s not why I should have realised the implications of your decision.’
‘I don’t... I don’t understand,’ I said hesitantly, because he’d lost me, and the strange feeling of connection was only intensifying between us.
‘I know what it is to be without a mother. I should not wish that on any child. And especially not my own.’
The brutal pain in his eyes shocked me, before he had a chance to mask it, but not as much as the admission of vulnerability. When had Alexi ever been willing to share his pain with me? With anyone?
‘I still want you on my R&D team,’ he insisted. ‘The money is unchanged.’
‘I can’t... I’m under contract to Renzo. He’s been good to me, and Cai, and he’s a friend so I can’t just...’
‘Stop.’ H
e pressed his thumb to my bottom lip, the flare of something hot and possessive in his gaze shocking me into silence. ‘Renzo does not own you,’ he said. ‘And he’s not the boy’s father, I am.’
It was a low blow, one that he had used ruthlessly to dig into the knot of guilt cutting off my air supply. Suddenly he seemed more like a jealous lover staking a claim than an employer trying to lure talent away from a rival but, before I could voice my concern, he continued.
‘I will buy out your contract with Camaro—and if he is truly a friend he will know this is a great opportunity he should not deny you.’
‘I still can’t accept. It seems like too much because it is. Be honest with me, Alexi, why are you really offering me this job—because you want me on your R&D team or because I refused the financial settlement your legal team offered me yesterday? And this is just a means to get me to take the money another way?’
I thought I had won the argument when his gaze dropped away, his stance wary and tense instead of possessive and domineering.
But, when he finally turned back to me, what I saw stunned me—not demand, or guilt, or even anger but brutal honesty.
‘Can it not be for both those reasons?’ he asked.
He walked back to me and touched my cheek. Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I couldn’t resist the urge to lean into the light caress. The wry smile that twisted his lips was both poignant and painful.
‘I wish to get to know my son, and I can’t do that if he lives miles away. The Galanti R&D department is based in Nice. I can buy you a villa there, pay for any staff you need and arrange to visit more frequently than I would be able to if you continued to live in London.’
I shifted my head back. Immediately the pang of regret echoed in my abdomen as his callused palm slipped away.
‘I can’t accept your charity,’ I said. ‘And I’m not sure upending Cai’s life and mine is the right way to prepare him for this relationship. It’s already going to be such a big change for him and...’
His finger touched my lips again, silencing my string of objections, some of which were genuine but some of which were borne of the same cowardice that had made me keep Cai’s birth a secret for so long. Alexi had always overwhelmed me, and moving back into his orbit scared me on a visceral level I did not want to admit. What if I couldn’t keep at bay the feelings I was scared I still had for him? Or the desire?
‘Shh...’ he murmured gently. His fingertip sent inappropriate shivers down my spine as he slid it across my mouth. ‘This is not charity, Belle. You have earned this opportunity. I want to develop the Galanti X to be the best car in Super League history and the key to that is fuel efficiency. To make those innovations, I need you. But this is not just about what is good for Galanti. It is also about what is good for you and your career development. You know as well as I do the Destiny team cannot offer you the resources of Galanti, or the infrastructure. If you want to be the best, you need to be employed by the best. And that’s me.’
The arrogance with which he made the comment was all Alexi, but I couldn’t deny that he was right. Galanti’s development centre in Nice was the best in the sport, by a long margin. Probably because the company had been at the top of motor racing ever since Alexi had taken over the reins of the operation from his father seven years ago.
I’d never considered working at Galanti because of my personal attachment to Alexi, but having that golden ring dangled in front of my nose made me realise that, while protecting myself and Cai from discovery, I had been hampering my own professional development.
Strike two to my cowardice!
I’d already gone as far as I could at Camaro—if Alexi was prepared to fund additional research....