There was bound to be a perfectly rational explanation for why Kit wasn’t answering his phone. Absolutely bound to be.
*
Stifling a yawn because now that he was done for the day the exhaustion he’d been holding at bay since he’d got up this morning was pouring through him like a tidal wave, Kit climbed the steps from the basement restaurant wher
e he’d had dinner and then left his colleagues ordering more drinks, and checked his phone.
Two missed calls. One message. One text. All from Lily.
The desire to call her had been needling him all day. He’d felt the urge to talk to her hammering away in the back of his mind throughout the site visit and the meetings that had taken up the rest of the day. But he’d been unable to do either because he’d barely had a moment to himself to think, let alone work out what he wanted to say to her and how to say it.
Now he did, but it was late. Nearly midnight here and therefore eleven in London. He ought not to disturb her. He ought to wait until morning. On the other hand he didn’t think he could stand another night like last night during which his conscience had niggled at him so relentlessly that he’d hardly slept.
What the hell? he thought, tapping the reply button to her text message and typing Too late to call? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Then he hailed a passing taxi, and, after it pulled to a screeching halt beside him, climbed in and gave the driver the address of his hotel in his very dodgy Italian. As he sat back and rubbed a hand over his eyes, his phone beeped and he sat up, more alert than he’d felt at any other moment today.
Never was Lily’s reply, and within a second he was dialling her number, his heart lurching in a way that had nothing to do with the driver, who clearly thought he was at Monza.
The phone had barely rung before she picked up. ‘Hi,’ she said, sounding breathy, as if she’d had to run for the phone, which she couldn’t have if she’d only texted seconds ago.
‘Hi,’ said Kit. ‘Sorry it’s so late. I’ve only just picked up your messages. I was out for dinner with a couple of people from work. A basement place. No signal.’
He heard her let out a breath and when she spoke again she sounded strangely relieved. ‘That’s OK. How’s it been going?’
‘Fine. Good.’
‘Good.’ There was a moment’s silence and Kit was just about to fill it when Lily got there first. ‘Look, Kit,’ she said, her voice soft and husky and sending a stab of desire shooting through him. ‘I’m so sorry about last night.’
Kit nearly dropped the phone. She was sorry? ‘If anyone should be apologising, Lily, it’s me.’
‘Whatever for? I was the one who called you a jerk and threw a glass at you. I’m the one who hurled that ultimatum at you, which was utterly unforgivable. Of course I don’t expect you to fire your PR agency. I’m sorry I suggested it, and if it’s any consolation I’m mortified.’
‘You had justification to be angry,’ he muttered, not entirely happy about the fact that she thought she was in the wrong. ‘I should have told you about Paula. And if it had ever crossed my mind I would have. I never think of her outside the context of her working for me. She genuinely means nothing to me. Please believe me on this.’
Lily sighed. ‘I do. I think. And with hindsight I’m not sure that last night was really about her.’
He frowned in the darkness. ‘It wasn’t?’
‘No. Because I’ve thought about it, and, you know, I do forgive you.’
‘Then what was it about?’
‘I had a little wobble, that’s all. Freaked out for a moment.’
‘Over us?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Why?’
There was a brief moment of silence and Kit could imagine her frowning, biting her lip as she worked it out. ‘I think I’m a bit scared, Kit. This has all been so fast. It’s kind of overwhelming.’
‘There’s nothing to be scared of, sweetheart.’
‘There’s me. And then there’s this all going wrong and my life falling apart again. Last time I eventually put myself back together again but if everything goes wrong this time I’d be in bits, and the really terrifying thing is that I’m not sure that I’d be able to put myself back together.’
‘You won’t have to because it won’t happen.’