Chapter One
I try not to look over at Ivy too often, but I can't help myself. It's hard to tell if she's the one who cursed me just from looking. She has the ability. She's not as high up the class ranks as Daphne is, but she's also not an idiot.
More importantly, she has a motive. Kind of.
"Eurgh." I run my hands over my face, tangling them in my hair.
"You okay?" Ryan asks.
"Sorry, where were we?" I'm not going to manage much tutoring if I'm fixating on my potential worst enemy. Plus, I don't want to have to explain to him all I've found out about my curse. That's for me, Daphne, and Thomas only, we don't need to bring anyone else into the mix.
"You were telling me about the uses of frog spawn in potions," he prompts.
"Are you really doing so badly that you need my help, or is this Daphne's way of matchmaking?" I blurt out. The thought's been going through my mind for days, especially with the way she looks at the two of us when we're together. The witch is up to something, and I meant that in the nicest possible way.
Ryan blinks a couple of times before setting down his pen and turning to me. "I'm doing badly in potions," he promises. "But you think Daphne is matchmaking?" His smirk tells me more than he thinks it does. This isn't a worried man thinking his sister is overstepping, this is someone who...
I gasp. "You really do like me like that." I don't mean to say the words aloud, and yet they're out in the open. What do I even do now?
"Was that ever in question?"
I almost want to slap the smug look off his face, but instead, I open and close my mouth, not sure how to respond. "It was in my head," I say eventually.
He waves away my concern. "It hardly matters now. You're seeing that guy, and I'm not enough of a dick to want to break you up."
"Caspian and I haven't spoken in weeks," I admit sheepishly. I never intended to leave it that long, but I'm still not over the fact he's Ivy's step-brother. I can't reconcile that fact and the way I feel about him in my head. Especially because he didn't tell me. This whole situation could have been avoided if he'd just outright told me.
Though we need to sort it out for both of our sakes.
"Is that so?" he wiggles his eyebrows, reminding me of Daphne.
Oh ick. That's weird. Don't think about Daphne and Ryan at the same time. It's weird. She's my best friend, and he's...I'm not sure what he is. But he could mean a lot to me, if I let him.
"Yes." I don't elaborate on that. I'm not falling into Ryan's arms just because I'm on the outs with Caspian.
"So, if I ask you on a date..."
"I'll say no." I tap my notepad. "We should get back to work."
He starts to argue, but I hold up my hand.
"I'm not ready," I tell him. "Maybe in a couple of months, I'll consider dating you." Daphne will have a field day if I tell her about this. Not that I will. I don't think.
"A couple of..."
"You need to respect that, Ryan." I half-slam my hand on the desk.
"I'm sorry." He hangs his head, clearly meaning the word even if I don't want to make him feel bad about the situation.
Against my better judgement, I place my hand on top of his and give it a squeeze. "There's just so much going on at the moment. I don't think it's fair to either of us if we start something now." My words come out low, almost sultry, even though I don't mean them to. If I'm not careful, I'm going to end up leading him on.
He looks away, probably to hide the frown I've already caught on his face.
"Besides, we can't start anything until we know for sure. If we do, and it ends badly, it's not just you I'll lose, and I need to be sure I'm ready for that." Daphne means far too much to me to risk having something with her brother and it not working out.
He sighs. "I know you're right, but part of me still hopes you'll change your mind."
"I'd be worried if you didn't." Though a little part of me doesn't get it. Why on earth would he be interested in someone like me? Why would anyone? I'm so close to becoming a crazy cat lady that I have four kittens in my room. And I'm only eighteen. Things have been weirder for me.
"Mona?"
I look up and away from Ryan, already knowing what I'll find when I do. My blood turns to ice in my veins as I meet Caspian's pained eyes. I may not be on the best terms with him, but that doesn't mean I want to hurt him.
"I-I can explain," I stutter, already pushing my chair back and getting to my feet. The scraping sound gains attention from people around the library, but I don't even care. Most of them dislike me already for the not-being-able-to-do-magic-and-making-kittens thing anyway, they can think wh
at they want about the complications of my love life.
He glances away. "No need. I get it."
"Caspian..." My heart feels like it's snapping in two. How much of our exchange did he hear?
His pained expression says it all as he turns to walk away.
"Excuse me," I mutter to Ryan.
The need to talk to Caspian and explain fills me. It even overpowers the anger I have over the situation with his step-sister. I don't think I even realised how much I like him until this moment.
Right now, only one thing is certain. I have to make Caspian mine. Though technically, I do believe we're still dating.
I rush out of the library, hot on his heels. Reaching out, my hand brushes over the rough fabric of his jacket.
"Caspian, please talk to me..."
Much to my surprise, he freezes. That's better than just going on his own way and not giving me the time of day, at least. Though I'm not sure what to say next. Now he's here at listening to me, I'm not sure what to say.
"He's my best friend's brother," I whisper. "He's one of the only people that's been nice to me since the beginning," I say quietly. Well, him and his buddy, Cade. Though he seems to have eyes for Daphne.
"And that makes you want to date him?" There's a harshness in his tone that I don't expect, and he doesn't turn around to look at me. I won't lie to myself, that hurts. A lot.
"No. Yes. Maybe, I don't know." I sigh and let my hand fall away from him. "I feel all torn up in knots. How I feel about you, how I feel about Ryan, what's going on with my magic..."
He shifts in front of me, turning so I can see his face and the thunder that lies there. "Have you ever wondered whether the problem with all of those things is you?" His words pierce through my heart.