Ilara: Chapter 18
It had been a week since Todd tried to take me away from the hospital. I still spent every day there with at least two guards. At night, Bear insisted I come home with him and sleep in our own bed. Hope was feeling more tired and her hair was starting to fall out. I cried the first time I combed it and a large chunk came out in my hand. Bear had held me as I sobbed. Hope took it better than me. It wasn’t fair! She was just a baby.
I knew Bear was stressed. When he wasn’t with me, I had no idea what he was doing. There had been lots of texts, whispered calls and him having to go meet with the guys. Were they talking about Todd? Had they found him and not told me? I worried constantly he’d find a way to get by the guards and take Hope. I wasn’t sleeping well at night.
It was the two-week mark for Hope’s chemo. She had two more to go and then they might let her go home. I prayed they would. She was bored when she wasn’t too exhausted. I tried a million ways to entertain her. The club and the old ladies came and helped. They were great about the masks, and stuff. Zara had been a godsend.
Bear was off somewhere again today, and I was alone with Hope. Zara had come in to check on her and chat with me. I told her that I needed to go to the bathroom and I’d be right back. I stood up, and the room whirled. I stumbled and grabbed the chair arm to keep from falling. Zara saw me and grabbed my arm. She helped me to sit back down.
“Ilara, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I stood up too fast. The room twirled around and I felt dizzy.”
“When did you eat last?”
“I had something two hours ago. I don’t know what this is.”
She was frowning, and I noticed she was checking the pulse on my wrist. “I want to do a couple of tests. Ilara. You’re pale. Everyone can see how tired you are. You’ve lost weight. Bear is worried about you. If he hears about this, he’ll flip out. Please, let me make sure it’s not anything we need to worry about.”
“Okay, do it. I’ll just sit here,” I told her, as I felt the dizziness and some nausea hit me. God, was I coming down with something? If I was, I didn’t want to give it to Hope. Her immune system was compromised. I grabbed Zara’s hand.
“Get me out of here. If I’m sick with the flu or something, I can’t give it to her,” I pleaded. She nodded and then left the room. Less than five minutes later, she was back with a wheelchair and Outlaw was with her. He was frowning at me. He and Mitch were on guard duty right now.
“Zara says you’re sick. That you almost fainted. What the hell? Here, let me help you into the wheelchair. I’m going with you and Mitch will stay here with Hope. I called Bear.”
“Oh no, Outlaw, how could you? He’s got enough on his mind without this. I’m just probably coming down with the flu or something. There was no need to call him. Make sure Mitch doesn’t take his eyes off her.”
“He won’t and yes, I called Bear. He’d kill me if I didn’t. Come on, little sister, here you go.” I thought he was going to give me his hand. He didn’t. He picked me up and then sat me down in the wheelchair.
“Hey, sweetness, we need to go check something with Momma. Mitch is coming in. Is that alright?” he asked Hope sweetly. She smiled and nodded. Mitch came through the door. He gave me a nod and sat down. Outlaw turned me around in the wheelchair and started to push me. Zara kept pace with us.
She directed him to take me on the elevator to the second floor. That was where the lab was. When we got there, a tech ran over and she told them what tubes to draw. While they were draining me of blood, she was writing out the tests on an order. After the vials were filled and they’d taken nasal and throat swabs, she gave the paper to the tech and said she wanted the results stat.
“Zara, it’s probably nothing more than the flu. Just my luck,” I grumbled.
“It might be, but we want to be sure. Let’s take you back upstairs. They know to call me as soon as they get any results. I expect they’ll take two hours to get the results on all of them.”
They took me back to Hope’s room. I told them I wanted to wait in the hall until I knew for sure it wasn’t anything contagious. They didn’t argue. Outlaw excused himself and when he came back, he had three cups of coffee. I loved coffee. As he handed me mine, I inhaled deeply and instantly my stomach turned and I slapped my hand over my mouth. I shoved it back at him. He gave me a puzzled look. Zara was staring at me. After I battled down the urge to vomit, I apologized.
“I’m sorry, Outlaw. This flu or whatever is affecting my stomach. The smell of that coffee made me want to throw up.”
“Have you been sick to your stomach before this?” Zara asked.
“A couple of times. When I get stressed, it does that sometimes, just never as a reaction to coffee.” She nodded and walked off to the nurses’ station. I watched her get on the phone. She must have remembered something about a patient.
It was fifteen minutes later when I saw Bear rushing down the hall toward me. He immediately dropped into a crouch by my chair. “Baby, are you okay? What’s wrong with her, Zara? Outlaw said she almost passed out.” Zara had rejoined us after she was done at the nurses’ station.
“Calm down, she got dizzy. I had them take blood and swabs. They should be reporting on the results of the first one any minute. She might have the flu, but I don’t think that’s it. I think I know what it is, but we need to wait for the test results,” she told us cryptically.
“Don’t wait, tell us,” Bear demanded.
“No, because I could be wrong. Please, trust me.”
Outlaw and Zara had moved further down the hall to give us privacy to talk. He lowered his head to lie on my lap. His arms went around my hips. “God, please don’t let this be something serious. Our daughter is already sick. She needs both of us. I need them. Please, not Ilara too,” I heard him whisper. I heard fear in his voice. I ran my hand through the back of his hair.
“It’s nothing serious. Stop worrying.”
“I can’t. I just found you and Sugarplum. I’m not going to lose you. We have too much to do.”