As I head out of the door, I pray he doesn’t try to stop me because I don’t think I can hold my emotions in much longer.
I’m out door and hear him calling my name, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop. I don’t know how I read this all wrong. I’m definitely no expert in the love department, but I was way off. We aren’t just on different pages… we aren’t even reading the same book. I don’t think we’re even browsing the same genre at this point. It’s like I’m in fantasy and he’s in non-fiction.
I walk quickly through the house looking for Kayla. I need her and I need to get out of here now. I need to go pick up my daughter and hold her.
I find Kayla standing outside with Bentley by the bonfire. She’s laughing and touching his chest while he rubs his hand up and down her arm. Are they on the same page? They’re both smiling and laughing but apparently that doesn’t mean anything because Cooper and I were laughing and smiling and now my heart is breaking. At least he was honest with me and didn’t lead me on, but maybe he should’ve told me all this before we had sex. At the same time, I’m glad I had this time with him. I refuse to regret it.
The truth is I’m not even mad, I’m just sad. I really just need to get out of here. Only a few more minutes. I need to hold it together for a few more minutes and then I can let go.
Bentley spots me coming over and nods my way. Kayla looks behind her and I know she can see the pained look in my face because she drops her hand from Bentley and runs over to me.
“What the hell happened, Liz? What did he do to you?”
“I can’t talk about this here. Please. I need to leave. If you want to stay, it’s fine. I don’t want to ruin your…”
Kayla doesn’t even let me finish the sentence before she cuts me off. “Stop! Stop it right now. You know damn well I have your back and there’s no way I would ever stay at this party or anywhere else for that matter when you need me. Let’s go.”
She takes my hand and pulls me alongside of her to the car in silence.
As we’re walking down the driveway, I hear Cooper scream my name once again. I attempt to run, but he catches up quickly. I get to the car and turn around to see him standing right in front of me. I can’t say anything. I’m choking back the tears, and if I say a single word, the tears are going to release.
Cooper looks at me like I’m the one who just broke his heart as he lifts his hand up to my face to touch it. It’s then I feel it, the wetness he’s wiping off my cheek. Damn traitor tears. He wipes one on the other cheek away and chokes out, “I’m sorry.” No sooner are the words out of his mouth, his back is turned to me as he walks away.
I want to scream at him, run up behind him and pound on his back. I want him to take back every word he said in the last ten minutes. I can handle him not wanting me. I can handle not having him. Yes, it hurts like hell, but I can handle it. I’m strong and know I can make it through anything, but the fact he doesn’t want our daughter drives a sword right through my heart.
However, I don’t go over to him, and I don’t scream at him. I accept his decision because I would rather know now how he feels than take a chance of him hurting our daughter. It’s for the best that it’s over before it even began.
I get into the car and wait until Kayla is out of the driveway to cry. I cry for my little girl. I cry for the fact that she has a father who doesn’t want her. I cry for my innocent, sweet angel who’ll never know a father’s love. For years, I wished to run into him so I could tell him he has a daughter. Well, you know what they say, be careful what you wish for…
While we’re driving, Kayla tells me it’s probably best to leave Bella with Ashley for the night. It’s already after two in the morning and picking her up would mean waking everybody up in the house. As much as I want Bella in my arms, I agree with her, so we head to our apartment.
We get home and I’m surprised Kayla hasn’t jumped on me to tell her what’s happened yet. I get in the shower and let the hot water burn my skin. I grab my loofa and squirt some soap onto it, scrubbing down my body and wishing I could scrub away all the hurt I feel inside me right now.