SOPHIE
The day goes by, and I get a grip on myself. I’m still thinking about what Gunner said when lunch rolls around, though. I mean, I guess they’ve all shown that this is more than just some casual ongoing hookup fueled by convenience. I mean, Roman had me cooking with his grandmother. Gunner did basically tell me he loves me, the way that Nick looks at me and dotes on me. How Holden has been working on himself, how he’s been more present with himself and me.
I chew my bottom lip and swallow. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I told them I love them. One at a time or all together. Because it’s true, it’s as true as saying that I’m afraid of what’s going to happen when my father gets out of the hospital, especially now that my mother knows what’s going on.
Getting through the day and checking off emails and tasks is easier than thinking about all this, so I get done at my usual time, then just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I need maybe thirty minutes to wallow before I go downstairs and figure out what to do with the rest of the day.
Would it be so bad to just take the rest of the day off? I could just sleep. Let things happen as they will since clearly, being awake or involved doesn’t change the outcome to a high degree.
I take a nap, get through a shower, and finally, go back downstairs. After a moment, Holden joins me in the kitchen to help me package up breakfast and put it away. He doesn’t touch me or try kissing me, which means either Roman or Gunner told him.
When I sit on the couch and pull out the PS5 controller, he sits beside me, just there. I roll my eyes. “Who told you?”
“No one. I just overheard plenty this morning. Your mother is pretty loud. It got my attention.”
“Sorry,” I murmur.
“It’s okay. Well. It’s okay to me. Are you … okay?” His brow furrows.
“As okay as I can be. I’m just tired of walking around like what we’re doing is shameful because it’s not, and I’m happy.”
“With the way things are?”
“With all of you.” I nudge him. “When you’re not cheating in Call of Duty.”
“I don’t cheat. I just … know how to shoot.”
“Sure.”
“Talk to Gunner and his fancy clicking.” Holden smiles slightly. “I think he knows a cheat code or two.”
“I knew it!”
We laugh for a moment, and Holden rubs my back. He’s gotten a lot more open to physical touch, and he reads me so well now. It’s a big change from when we first started.
“You’re important to me, Sophie. I’m sorry if I come off as too protective sometimes, but I just want to make sure that I’m doing everything I can for you.”
“Well, there’s plenty of me and my problems to go around.” I roll my eyes.
Holden squeezes me gently and kisses my temple. “We’ll take care of you. All you have to do is let us, Sophie. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I grumble, my face heating. “Now stop being so serious and grab a controller so I can kick your ass instead of blush myself to death.”
He does as I ask, and we end up playing more than a few competitive rounds against each other until I climb on top of his lap and try to keep him from seeing. He huffs. “Now, who’s cheating?”
“I just think the view is better from right here.” I smile and blink my eyes at his gorgeous face.
Holden knocks us both to the side, his competitive nature getting the best of him. He destroys me and then picks me up from the floor while laughing. “You on my lap is absolutely an advantage considering what you do to me.”
“Me? I’m all innocent.”
“Lies.” He tickles my sides until I’m squealing with laughter and swatting at his hands.
“And here I was worried you’d be a mess.”
We look up to see Nick. He sets his briefcase down and joins us on the couch. He gently pecks my lips. “Sorry I wasn’t there to help this morning.”
“Oh, there was plenty of yelling as it was. We woke Holden.” I rub his good knee.