SOPHIA
Nick and I sit down at a nice sushi place. He rubs my hand gently after we order our drinks. I didn’t really understand how stress could put my dad in the hospital until now. I can feel the weight of every problem, of every molecule on my shoulders, threatening to flatten me until I’m no thicker than a sheet of paper.
I take a slow, deep breath and try to focus on something tangible. My thumb strokes across Nick’s palm. He’s real. Real, sweet, right here, and available for conversation. He’s sturdy and reliable. Kind and understanding. I feel him, and the more I touch his hand, squeeze his fingers, the more control I have.
“Sophie.” His voice is like a warm blanket wrapping around me on a cold day. My eyes finally lift to him, and he gives me a gentle smile. “Hey there.”
“No kid gloves with me, okay?” I ask.
“You’re too old for that.” He agrees. “I’m worried about you, though. This is a lot to take in.”
“It is. But I feel like if I take time off, it just validates the worst of the rumors. Plus, it will give me time with my mom, who’s happy to talk about how sexy you all are. Or I’ll just think about how things are with my dad. There’s just … no place for me to exist without worrying.”
Nick rubs the back of my fingers with his thumb. I snort. “I sound so spoiled. I have you amazing guys. I have such a good job. A great house, and I’m losing my mind because my daddy doesn’t approve of how I live, and people at work are mean to me.”
“You’re allowed to let it bother you, Soph.” He tightens his hold on me. “I mean it. Just because people somewhere else have it worse and just because it’s not a worst-case scenario doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to feel upset or anxious about this.”
I nod and suck my bottom lip before closing my eyes and pushing the heel of my hand against my forehead. “But I also have to take responsibility, Nick.”
“How so?”
“I made the choice to be with you … with all of you.” I squeeze his fingers when he squeezes mine. “And I don’t regret that. I knew there would be consequences once it was discovered, and I know that keeping it a secret would have bothered me too. I just ….”
“Keep going.”
“I just really wish I had been the one to tell him.” I shrug. “It probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but I wish I could have told him, and I really wish my mom was in a hotel.”
Nick chuckles and brushes my hair from my face with his other hand. “Don’t want to share us?”
“Imagine your father hitting on me.”
The disgust on his face is precisely my point. I nod, and he sighs. “Life isn’t easy, but I’m sorry it’s throwing so many curve balls at you at once. It’s a lot for anyone to handle at any one time.”
“Thank you for listening, Nick.” I clear my throat. “And not just trying to fix everything before I could find out or anything like that.”
“Roman means well.”
“I know he does.” I agree.
We pause our conversation as the sushi is laid out before us, then I move, taking the seat beside Nick instead of across from him. He rubs my back, and I continue. “I know he means well, but it’s really nice just to be able to talk and have someone listen without trying to fix a problem. I feel …”
“Heard?”
I nod, and he gently pecks my cheek. We eat, Nick picks up the check despite me insisting that I can at least pay half, then we take a walk around the block. He keeps my hand in his and sighs. “We could go on a date. I’m not much of a dancer, but I’d be willing to do that with you. Or they have painting classes where you can drink wine while someone walks you through painting. Or the planetarium.”
“That sounds wonderful.” I lean against Nick and kiss his neck. “Honestly, I’d love to.”
When we get back to his car, I feel better. Less like I’m being crushed. But that in itself raises another question that has me hesitating once we park. “Nick?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Do you guys talk about your stress at all?”
He cocks his head to the side. I shrug, then immediately stumble over my words. “I just. Well … I just don’t want any of you to end up like my dad or to feel what I felt on the way to lunch, so if you do ever feel stressed, just come talk to me, okay. I’m a good listener.”
Nick leans forward, his hand sliding over my cheek, then he hesitates. His thumb brushes just under my eye as his breath teases my lips. “I know you are, Soph.”
I close the space between us, unable to draw back from him, to ignore him, to let this moment pass. I suck his bottom lip, then take him deeper, slipping my tongue between his lips until his tangles with mine.