Turning around, I arch an eyebrow, then rub the suds over his sweaty body. “Is it anything I should be worried about?”
“You ready for a horror story?” He bites his lip nervously. “I haven’t told anyone else and…”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” I scrub his shoulders. I feel the guilt starting to eat at me. “We’re all allowed to have secrets.”
“It’s okay, I’ll tell you. This girl snuck into my hotel room when I was so drunk, like, almost fucking out drunk,” he says. “Gives me a hell of a blow job.”
His eyes flick to me, like he’s worried I’ll be offended. I shrug. “So, where does the horror come in?”
“Well, I come and then she starts, like, spitting it into her hand and trying to put it inside her.”
My hands freeze and I arch my eyebrow.
“I’m not fucking kidding, Sylvia,” he insists. “I was sure I was just hallucinating, but then she started saying we belonged together and a baby would mean we could get married. She was definitely real when security pulled her out of my room with cum all over her hands and thighs.”
“That’s insane,” I agree. “Like, seriously insane. Are you…okay?”
“It’s part of the reason I’m here, not that my brother knows. I was getting benched for the season anyway, with my four concussions and this arm injury.”
I know he misses his team and his life. He doesn’t have to say it. I let my hands slide around him and slip into a hug. Chase rubs my back in slow circles, then rests his chin against the top of my head.
I’ve never had a moment like this, in comfortable silence; naked, but no intention to have sex, just talking and being close. It feels more intimate than sex somehow. I pull back and smile at him. “Well, hopefully you’ll get to go back soon.”
“Yeah, I’ll be back on the ice, but I’m not going to lie,” he smiles at me and kisses my lips softly, “I’m going to be sending you tickets to every game.”
I bite my lip and welcome his soapy hands on my body. “You’re not going to cut and run?”
“No.” He chuckles. “Normally I would have. Normally there wouldn’t have been a second date, but there’s something about you I can’t resist. I feel something real between us. And I hope you do too.”
I smile, this one easier, lighter. Because it’s simple. I do feel something real between us, more than our crazy sexual chemistry. Actual appreciation and affection. I like spending time with him. I like our long talks about weird things—everything from comic books to sports to the movie scripts I practice.
He’s accepting and fun and loving. It’s easy to be with him, natural and passionate. It’s like he’s taking all my broken pieces and helping me heal with his sweet boyish charm.
“I like you a lot, Chase,” I tell him, kissing his chest before nearly swallowing a bubble. I laugh and shake my head. “Way more than soap in my mouth.”
He laughs and kisses my cheek. “You taste good even with soap.”
We giggle and wash one another while trading smiles and lustful gazes. Afterward, when I’m dry and dressed, I feel the shame. I look at my dress and think that Chase and his brother had stripped me out of this dress and fucked me within hours of each other. I fucked Chase while putting on a show for his brother, who, until recently, was the love of my life.
I didn’t think there was any way for me to get over Stephen and now I’m cuddled up with his brother, post-sex, laughing as if it’s only the two of us in the world. Chase laughs at the TV and I smile in response. His positivity, his joy, is infectious. I can’t leave him anymore than I can really end things with Stephen. Stephen is a magnet that I can’t escape and don’t really want to hide from. Chase is effortless enjoyment, someone I want to spend more and more time with, someone who could give me everything I could ever want.
And I’m screwed, in more ways than one.
I have to let one of them go. But how? It’s an impossible decision, and I have no idea how I’m going to do it.
“You’re going to get worry lines with all that frowning,” Chase purrs before kissing between my eyebrows. “What’s wrong, Sylvia?”
His eyes are so serious, so earnest, soft, and warm. Now’s my chance to come clean. I could start with,Hi, my name is Olivia and I’m your brother’s ex. Then I could say I’m still fucking his brother, that I don’t want to leave him. That I’m selfish and greedy and don’t want to choose. Ugh.
He will surely hate me. I can tolerate a lot, but I’m not ready for that.
“I just have a lot to think about. I should call it a night.”
“Are you sure? You don’t want to stay over?” His brow furrows, but he nods slowly and walks me to the gate so I can get an Uber home. He chews his lips. “Why do I feel like this is ‘goodbye’ and not ‘later’?”
“It’s not. Promise.” I kiss him softly. “I’ll see you soon, babe.”
He kisses me again, something so warm and sweet that I almost feel like I’m floating. God, if he were a dick this would be so much easier. But nope. I have two great guys who want me and love me, and I have to break one of their hearts.