An image of Dex and his dopey smile came to his mind, and Sloane found himself following suit. His gut clenched when he thought about how close he’d come to losing Dex. He’d tried hard not to think about it. He meant what he’d said about being grateful he’d been the one to go out there. It was bad enough they faced danger on the job, but for some asshole to come at them so close to home? Now Dex was going to be out there without him. Maybe he should contact Maddock. Make sure he assigned Dex a partner they could trust to watch Dex’s back. He didn’t like the idea of leaving his partner’s safety in anyone else’s hands. As soon as he was back to his old self, Sloane was going to put his partner through the training of his life. Idiot. He couldn’t believe Dex had run out there into the middle of God knew what without assessing the situation.
“Are you decent?” Ash’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
Sloane smiled broadly at his friend. “Hey.” He’d been wondering when Ash would be coming around. It wasn’t because his best friend didn’t care. No one understood better than Sloane how difficult this was. The guilt was written all over Ash’s face.
“You look like shit,” Ash grumbled, causing Sloane to chuckle.
“It’s good to see you too, bud.”
Ash came to linger beside his bed, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets and his gaze everywhere but on Sloane. “I wanted to come sooner, but….” He swallowed hard, and Sloane reached out to take hold of his wrist, getting his attention. Why did Ash insist on beating himself up for situations out of his control? His shoulders slumped, and he let out a resigned sigh. “I’m sorry, Sloane.”
“Don’t. That asshole could have targeted anyone of us. Come on.” Sloane motioned toward the chair beside the bed. “Talk to me.” After some hesitation, Ash took a seat.
“But he didn’t target anyone. He targeted me. Son of a bitch tried to kill me twice,” Ash growled.
“Because you were doing your job. You risked a hell of a lot to infiltrate the Coalition. Their organization crumbled because of you.”
Ash didn’t look convinced. “Except for Hogan and his band of merry morons, which are still out there.”
“Which reminds me. I need you to do something for me.” Sloane had been giving it a lot of thought since Dex had left for Sloane’s apartment to pick up his things. In the year they’d been partners, Sloane had learned a lot about Dex. It hadn’t been difficult. Dex wore his heart on his sleeve. Most of the time, he was easy to get a read on. Dex didn’t play mind games, and Sloane appreciated that. He also knew his partner was headstrong, and when he set his mind to something, nothing was going to deter him. Most of all, Dex was fiercely loyal. Sloane had no doubt what was on his partner’s mind.
“Anything.”
Sloane braced himself as he answered, “Stay close to Dex.”
“Anything but that.”
Sloane couldn’t help his smile. He knew Ash would do it anyway. It reminded him of what he’d done for Dex. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For keeping him safe for me.” Sloane sat back, his gaze out the huge window across from him overlooking the Manhattan skyline. “When he told me what happened, I was so pissed off at him. All I could think about was what if I’d woken up to find he’d been shot and killed while trying to get to me?” The thought still twisted his insides, and he had to pause and take a deep breath.
Ash gave his arm a pat, and Sloane turned his head to see the concerned look on his friend’s face. “You okay?”
Damn it. Maybe it was time for a nap. “Yeah. I think the meds are messing with me,” Sloane muttered. Why was he having so much trouble with this? It had to be the meds making him hypersensitive. These drugs always had some kind of side effect, and being a Therian didn’t make him immune to them, especially when they were so-called Therian-strength. God only knew what that meant.
“The meds, huh?”
Was that amusement he heard in Ash’s voice? Sloane scowled at him. “What?”
Ash sat back with a scoff. “Come on, man. You’re crazy about him.”
The words caused an unexpected flutter in Sloane’s pulse. His face felt hot. Was it getting hot in here? “I’ll admit I care about him a lot. But I don’t think that’s what you’re insinuating.” He’d always been reserved with his emotions. He wasn’t
an excitable guy, and yes, he cared about others, and in Dex’s case, cared deeply. But he wasn’t drawing little hearts around his and Dex’s initials or using photos of them together as his phone’s wallpaper.
“Poor choice of words,” Ash admitted. “Do you love him?”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m serious. Do you love him?”
“Ash, a few weeks ago he confessed he loved me and I freaked. I hurt him. Again. Do you really think that would have happened if I loved him? Besides, it’s too soon.” He wasn’t like Dex, who could throw himself wholeheartedly into a relationship. Who knew exactly what he wanted and why. Dex wasn’t afraid to risk his heart if it meant the possibility of a future with someone he loved. Sloane had trouble looking to the future when he was only starting to let go of the past.
“Look, people talk a lot of shit. Who you’re supposed to love, when, how. Fuck ’em.”
The conviction in Ash’s words surprised Sloane. He sat quietly watching his friend. There was a fire in his amber eyes Sloane hadn’t seen in a long time. Passionate wasn’t a word he would have ever associated with Ash. Brash, bold, and tough as nails. But passionate?