“And I’m telling you that he hasn’t stopped,” Flor counters. “He’s just being stubborn.”
“It is more than stubbornness,” I’rec says. He strokes the scruff on his chin, thoughtful. “His mother is to blame. You know Juth is his blood brother, yes?”
I nod. They have an uneasy bond that they’re both working on. I know O’jek has mentioned in the past that sometimes he doesn’t know what to say to Juth, and that he feels guilty around him for having what Juth did not.
“His mother never forgot that her first kit was taken from her. She kept O’jek at arm’s length because she did not wish to have her heart broken again. No doubt he is doing the same. He worries that giving you his heart will break him, so he has decided to push you away instead.”
“Oh,” I say softly. My poor O’jek. He’s afraid of getting hurt. It makes me want to grab him and pull him into my arms. I need to show him just how much I care. That I’m in this because I want him, not just because I want a baby. That I’m not leaving. “That’s so terrible.”
He shrugs. “It was her way of dealing with loss. This is O’jek’s.”
“But he hasn’t lost me. He’s just worried he’s going to and that’s silly.” I shake my head. “How do I get him to stop pushing me away?”
“I would think it’s obvious,” Flor says, hugging her knees to her chest. “Don’t you think?”
If it’s obvious to them, it’s not to me. “I don’t understand. What do you think I need to do?”
I’rec gestures at me. “You work on the things he fears. He worries you cannot survive here. Prove that you can.”
“I said I was going to try,” I protest. “He never even gave me a chance.”
“And now you sit here and weep in your furs and do nothing,” I’rec agrees. “You are proving his fears right.” He points at the door. “Do not wait for him to teach you. Go out and learn. Learn to make a fire. Learn to cure your leather. Learn to hunt. Everyone here will help you, D’see. Show him you will not give up. Show him you are not a reed to be broken, but a tree that withstands the winds.”
“Oh man,” Flor says with a sigh. “There’s an inappropriate joke about wood here that I’m dying to say but I won’t.” She nods at me, her gaze thoughtful. “You know he’s right, though. I’rec. He knows O’jek better than anyone. The question is, are you willing to do this?”
I blink. They make it sound so easy. Just go and learn how to do all the millions of things everyone else does. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Begin with the kits,” I’rec says. “Who is teaching them right now?”
“Bek’s taking them on tracking lessons out in the wild tomorrow,” Flor offers. “And I think N’dek is doing fishing lessons. And of course anyone can show you how to work a hide. I can show you that, if you like.” She smiles at me. “I’ve got some nice, greasy, gunk-covered hides just waiting for their moment in the sun, trust me.”
I wrinkle my nose at the thought. “And going on a few lessons and scraping a few hides is really going to convince O’jek I love him?”
“No,” I’rec says. “Nothing will convince him. He has already decided. He is my clan brother, but he is more stubborn than a kaari in heat. No words or actions will ever convince him.”
I feel like crying all over again. “Then what’s the point?”
The look he gives me is dismissive and slightly disgusted.
Flor steps in, putting a hand up. “Before you freak out, I think what he’s trying—unhelpfully—to say is that actions speak louder than words. Show O’jek you’re committed to this place. Show him that you can take care of yourself, and he’ll come around.”
I’rec eyes Flor. “Do not speak for me, female.”
“Do not call me female, penis,” she retorts.
I’rec snorts with amusement. He leans back in the hut, his tail flicking in a teasing sort of way, and the smirk he gives Flor says this is a conversation they’ve had before.
I’m a little weirded out by their banter. Then again, they do love to gossip and boss people around. Maybe they’ve been friendlier than I realized all this time. “So you really think I should do lessons with the kits? You’re sure this will work?”
I’rec shrugs. “I am not certain. He might decide to wait for resonance. He might decide to go to the other village and hide there. But you will never know if it will be helpful if you do not try.” He rests on his arm, eyeing me. “And you would do well to learn anyhow.”
I make a face. “You could have at least buttered me up a bit.”