I wondered what would have happened over these months if I’d never made that vow. Would Lonan have come with me, into the forest? Would he have even been able to, or would his mother have stopped it somehow?
It was pointless to think about, and I pushed it away as I cleared my throat in the tense silence.
“I vowed to kill her for what she’s done to you,” I said hoarsely, wanting to get rid of that haunted look in his eyes. “And I’m going to.”
Lonan nodded, his throat bobbing as he looked back up at me. “I’ll help you.”
I leaned forward in a rush, kissing him hard as my branch fingers clenched in his wet hair.
“I love you,” I said against his mouth. “I love you, Lonan.”
He let out a shaky breath and swallowed. “I love you too.”
“We have time,” I said, leaning back. “We can go to seelie. She can’t touch us there until we’re ready.”
Lonan’s breath hitched. He nodded. “You’ll be safe there. You and your brother.”
I frowned at him. “And you. You’re coming with me, aren’t you?”
“I…” His eyes darted. “They’d never let me—”
“Who?” I barked. “The seelie? Fuck them. They’ll do what I say.”
Lonan looked shocked by my imperious outburst for a second.
“But I’m unseelie. And the Carlin’s son. I can’t live there, surely.”
“Yes you can. And you’re going to. With me.” I hesitated. “Unless you don’t want to?”
He let out a tiny, weak laugh. “Of course I want to. I only want to be with you.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do. Her spies can watch from the forest and tell her that we’re living together, happily, in the one place where she can’t touch us.” I paused. “Do you think she’s looking for you?”
“Yes.”
My branch fingers curled into a fist behind his head. “We’ll be careful when we leave here.”
He nodded, reaching for my flesh hand and raising it to his face to kiss my knuckles.
“Shouldn’t you be going back to seelie soon anyway, Oak King?” he asked, kissing my palm before his lips curved into a tiny smile. “To address your subjects.”
I chuckled, feeling a sharp dart of nerves. “I guess. They can wait. I do wonder what’s happening there, though. I told the Brid’s servants to get rid of the bodies and then just left.”
He gazed up at me, his eyes reflecting the firelight. “Does it… play on your mind? What you did?”
I pursed my lips, looking down.
“Not as much as it probably should,” I admitted. “But… I didn’t really know her. And she was awful. I needed to protect Nua.”
“I meant more the actual killing her part,” he said, shifting a little in the bath. “I know how distraught you were after that… after the dinner.”
My gut clenched tight at the memory of killing that broon. It still played on my mind often. I dreamt about his brown eyes flaring with terror as he looked at me.
“That was different,” I croaked. “He’d done nothing. He was innocent. She wasn’t. Her King of Boars wasn’t either.”
Lonan nodded, kissing my knuckles. “I know.”
“I… I do worry about what I’m turning into.” I could admit this only to him. “I don’t really feel different, but I know I… am. I’ve killed so many people, and I’ve only been fae for a few months.”