Michelle puts her arm over my shoulder and pulls me to her in a hug. Her hand rubs my arm lovingly.
“You know… I always said I wanted another daughter. I guess I got my wish after all.”
Her words replayed in my mind for the rest of the day all the way until our wheels touched down in Chicago the next morning. When reality was no longer something to ignore.
My first day back at work was torture. I got way too used to working remotely for the two weeks we were at Graham’s family’s farm. Only checking my email on occasion, only pouring over case studies and files when it was late, and night had settled around us. We moved on different time than we do here in the city. Everything’s relaxed and unhurried, unlike home, where everyone seems to be in a hurry to go nowhere at all.
After the day I’ve had, my feet ache so bad, I can feel it in my bones. Wearing stilettos and being almost six months pregnant with not one but two babies, do not go together, and I am quickly realizing that after how badly the arches of my feet hurt.
“Let me see,” Graham says softly from the other end of my couch.
“No, I’ll be fine. I just need to lie here for a minute.”
Since we’ve been home, I’ve been trying to putsomekind of distance between us but failing.
Terribly.
Our trip changed things between us, whether I was ready to admit it or not, and now I feel like the situation is out of my control.
I’m desperately clinging to being “friends.” Whatever the hell that even means anymore.
Without asking again, he picks up my aching foot and places it in his lap, tenderly running his thumb down the sole of it, massaging my arch.
“Oooooh,” I moan, sinking further into the couch as my eyes roll back. There are few things in the world that feel this good.
And most of them come from the man rubbing my footalmostas well as he does those other things.
His calloused fingers feel like heaven against my sensitive skin, and I hold back a shiver as he leans down and brushes his lips over my calf.
“Graham…” I warn.
Lifting his hands in defense, he grins smugly. “What? I’m just trying to make it feel better.”
“I feel like I swallowed two bowling balls. And I look like I swallowed a whole planet.”
“You’re beautiful. Perfection,” Graham says, his eyes never leaving mine.
“You only say that because I’m having your kids.”
His fingers brush along the bottom of my foot, tickling me until I’m thrashing in his arms. He looks at me with a teasing grin, his eyebrows raised, as if saying try me.
“Fine, stop, stop,” I plead.
“That’s not true and you know it. You’ve always been the most beautiful girl in any room you were in, Emery, now… well, I can’t take my eyes off you. No matter where we are, I find myself searching for you.”
Lately, I don’t know who I’m trying to convince more, Graham or myself, that these feelings don’t exist.
That my heart doesn’t do a traitorous little pitter patter when he says things like this.
“You’re not so bad yourself, Adams.” I sit up on my elbows, peering over my stomach. “I was thinking. Tomorrow, when we find out what the babies are… would you be okay with it just being us? I love the idea of having a gender reveal with family and friends, but I also don’t. If that makes sense?”
“I’m good with whatever you wanna do, Em, always.”
“It’s just… I think it feels more special, if it’s just us and the babies. The calm before the storm. My baby shower will be happening in the next month, not to mention Holland’s and I just feel like this will be the last moment we have as just us before our families take over. I’m grateful that we have such an amazing support system, don’t get me wrong.”
He stops me. “No, I get it. Everyone’s excited. First babies, and twins at that. Hell, I’m so excited I can’t stand it sometimes, so I understand what they’re feeling. What if we find out the gender together, later? After the appointment, when it’s just the two of us.”
Honestly? It sounds perfect, and exactly what I imagined.