“I understand, I just wish that things were different. I wish that as your mother, I could take away the pain that you’re feeling. I wish I could fix this.”
Shaking my head, I say, “But you can’t, Mom. That’s the truth, and it’s better if you accept it for what it is. I have. Dad has. He’s made his position on the matter more than apparent, and he’s standing by Beau, no matter what. Right or wrong.”
Tears well in her eyes, as she walks over to me, pulling me into her arms. “I’m sorry, Briggs. Your dad... He- Your dad loves you. I hope you know that, despite anything else, we both love you. So much.”
Most of the time when my mother comes over, we avoid talking about our family turmoil at all costs, so this conversation reopens old wounds, causing the pain to consume me once more. Not that it has ever gone away, not by any means; it’s more like a dull, aching kind of pain that’s always there, just under the surface.
“I’ll call you soon, okay?” I tell her.
She sniffles but pulls back, and quickly wipes away her tears. “You going anywhere for the off-season?”
I shrug, not really having thought about a vacation. “Probably not. I’m coaching the Mighty Pucks still, and we’re gearing up for games. Can’t miss it.”
“It makes me so happy that you’re still involved with those kids. I’m proud of you.” She gives me a quick hug, minus the tears this time, before picking her purse off the table in the foyer and walking toward the front door. “I know you can’t see it right now, but you’ve changed Briggs. I see it each time I look at you. Soon that pain in your heart will fade, and the kind of man you are, once that pain fades, is what matters. I love you.”
The door shuts behind her, and for the rest of the night, I keep replaying her words in my head.
What kind of manwouldI be once my soul wasn’t so charred and broken?