The words feel foreign on my tongue.
Holland’s wary eyes soften into something different. A flicker of sympathy. She sits down in front of Evan, her long blonde hair swaying as she does. “Hi Evan. My name is Holland. Is that your octopus?” She nods at the plush animal in his arms.
Evan looks down and back at Holland then nods slightly.
"I love it." She smiles widely. "What's its name?"
"Pickles."
I let out a low laugh, and Evan hits me with a death stare, so I drop it immediately.
Shit. This kid is a tough crowd.
"You know when I was your age, I used to have a stuffed monkey named Arthur that I carried everywhere. He made me feel so brave. I wasneverafraid when he was around."
Evan drags his eyes up to hers and sniffles. His little feet shuffle from side to side while he rubs his already red-rimmed, puffy tear-filled eyes with the other hand.
"I think he's having nightmares... I tried to calm him down but he just… He's not having it. I didn't know what to do," I say quietly. Holland nods her head.
"Evan, what if we put on a cartoon and just hang out for a while with Pickles? Is that okay?"
She extends her hand for him to hold and he looks down at it, obviously trying to decide if she's a safe bet or not, then finally slides his tiny hand in hers.
I exhale with relief.
The two of them walk over to the couch, and then I hand Holland the remote. She puts on something about a baby shark that has way too much music for me, but Evan finally relaxes into the couch. For the first time since he walked in, it seems like he’s… Okay.
This can't be easy for him; I can't imagine how much he misses his parents, even though he probably doesn't fully grasp what is happening.
I walk over and stand by the bar and check my email, responding to a few endorsements that I have pending, and shoot my coach and the owner each a message with an update. I need to get back to practice, but I can't leave him.
Not after everything he's been through in the past few days.
My eyes drift back to Holland; she's pulling the blanket up Evan's chest and gingerly lifting herself from the couch. He's still holding her hand and it causes this weird feeling in my chest.
Shit, I'm so in over my head.
Carefully unwinding his tight grasp, she places his tiny hand back on his chest and stands, walking over to where I’m standing by the island. "Wow." She breathes as she slides back onto her spot on the bar stool. "I can honestly say this was the last thing I expected when you called."
"Yeah, it happened so quickly, I barely had time to process it. Hell, I'm still in shock. Then he was crying in his sleep and I just… I tried to call Em and Ma, but apparently, they sleep like the dead."
Holland nods. "I think Em was taking some sleeping medicine earlier. With everything going on, she said she was going to go to bed early tonight and try and catch up on sleep. Exams just finished."
"I'm scared I'm going to fuck this up," I mutter.
"Kids are resilient, Reed. You'd be surprised. I'm sure he misses his parents and the change will be hard for him, but you'll be amazing. I know it. I understand it's probably scary and overwhelming to be in your shoes right now, but I have no doubt that it'll work out exactly the way that it should."
I wasn't confident in that, not in the least, but fuck knows I'll try and be everything I can for him. For Holland to have this much faith in me… it feels like the best compliment in the world.
"I think we just need to get to know each other. Right now, we're strangers. He doesn't even know me and I've taken him from the only home he does know."
Her brows furrow and she’s quiet for a moment, thinking things over. “You know what might help? Making a space that’s his. Like, doing a room where he feels comfortable and at ease in his new environment. Maybe talk with the social worker and see what his room was like back home? And try to make a similar version here.”
Shit, that is a good idea. “You are a godsend, Holland.”
A pink blush floods her cheeks, and she rolls her eyes. “I took a course on child development as an elective, at least I learned a little to apply to real life.”
“Well, it shows. You’re great with him.”