Reed
Fuck,this isnotgoing as planned.
I run my hand through my hair nervously and start pacing the kitchen. “Wait, no, I mean… sort of? I don’t know, Holl.” My words come out in a rush. “I’m his… guardian. He’s mine now. This is Evan.”
It feels like the strangest thing in the world to say. Just three days ago, I was at a bar with a bunny on my lap, talking about how sweet life is, and now my entire world’s been turned upside down.
But I know it’s nothing compared to what this little guy must be feeling.
Holland pulls her wide-eyed gaze from me and glances back at Evan, who looks like he’s about two seconds from an absolute meltdown. I can’t say I blame him; it’s been the most exhausting two days of my life.
And I think this is what it’s going to be like going forward. I’m trading in nights at the bar for nights on the couch, watching cartoons.
In the end, the decision was easy. I couldn’t let my sister’s child end up in foster care and be another child lost in the system. I couldn’t abandon him. Iwouldn’t.He needs me.
After my discussion with Ma and Em, I booked the next flight to New York, called the team owner, Mark, and my coach, Rick, and let them know I'd have to miss practice for a few days because of everything going on. Thankfully, they understood and didn’t give me any shit.
When the plane touched down in New York, I was more nervous than I could ever remember being in my life. Even more than my first game as an Avalanche. This was different. Once I met Evan, I knew life wouldn’t ever be the same. How could it? How could I return to the life I knew before, knowing that there was this little boy out there who needed me?
It was more than just meeting my nephew for the first time in the shittiest of circumstances. I suddenly had the weight of the world on my shoulders. So many things riding on the fact that I was his new guardian.
My palms were clammy, my heart raced; it felt like my throat was going to close from how anxious I was. By the time I got into the cab to head to DCFS, I almost talked myself out of it at least twelve times. Walking through the front doors of that building, it felt like a douse of cold water straight to the face.
The reality of the situation hit me. That was it. I was going to meet my nephew for the first time and take him back home with him, and it would all happen within twenty-four hours.
Seeing him for the first time was nothing like I had tried to prepare myself for.
God, I wasn’t prepared for him to look so… small.
Even though I had only met my half-sister a few times, I could see how much he looked like her. What was more shocking is how much he favoredme.Dark hair, green eyes, dimples in his cheeks. Not that he offered me even a hint of a smile when I met him.
He looked up at me through teary eyes, clutching this old, ratty looking octopus that was missing an eye. I could see how sad he was, and fuck, it was like a punch to the gut. This poor kid. I can’t even imagine going through what he has at such a young age.
He was probably scared out of his mind. I could feel the tremors in his hand as he took mine.
I knew right then I had made the right decision. I didn’t feel an ounce of regret or hesitation. Seeing my nephew solidified that there was never really even a question. We hadn’t spoken a word and I felt this protectiveness over him that I couldn’t explain. Maybe because I see so much of myself in him, and don’t want him to go through the same things that I did.
Connie, the social worker, took over shortly after, getting everything organized for Evan to come with me, and it was a flurry of paperwork. I signed so much shit my hand almost fell off, all while Evan sat quietly beside me in an old metal chair. The entire process felt entirely transactional; just sign here on the dotted line and now you suddenly have a child to care for. A signature and a stamp. I suddenly felt even more for the children that had no choice but to be placed in the foster care system.
We did my background check and fingerprints, and she said someone from my state would be coming by in the next twelve hours for an emergency home check, and that was that.
I was officially the guardian of a three-year-old little boy whose parents had just been killed.
Just. Like. That.
We checked into a five-star resort hotel near Times Square, and as soon as we walked into the room and he laid on the bed, he was out.
Not me. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep a wink the entire night. Instead, I watched him sleep to make sure he was… you know, breathing. Fuck, I didn’t know. I was new at this and scared I was going to screw it all up.
He hadn’t said more than a few words to me besides juice, food… shit like that. And thankfully, I knew how to change a diaper from Ari and Ken, or I would’ve really been fucked. We flew the short distance home with his clammy palm tightly grasping mine.
The entire thing was so damn surreal.
It’s been twenty-four hours, and we’re making it. He’s timid around me, which is to be expected, and I’m doing the best I can. Except tonight, he’s been waking up with what I’m guessing are night terrors because he falls asleep, only to wake up screaming. We’re both exhausted, but I can’t figure out what to do. Ma and Em both didn’t answer the seventeen times I called them, but go figure, the time I seriously need help. Then, Liam didn’t answer, and I was freaking out. So… I called Holland. The only other person I trust who might actually have an idea of what to do.
“Reed…” Holland says warily. She hops down from the stool and slowly approaches Evan. Judging by his death grip on the octopus, he’s having a rough time.
“My sister… Amelia. My half-sister. She and her husband were killed in a robbery gone wrong in New York. Robert has cancer and can’t care for him, so… I was the next in line for guardianship. It was either I take him in or he goes into foster care. Holland, I couldn’t let the kid become a ward of the state.” I lower my voice and curse. “Shit, I don’t know what I’m doing. The very limited things I do know are not enough to be a… single parent.”