Chapter 8
~ AVA ~
Oh.My.Goodness.
I’m on a date.
Add to that, I’m on a date with a single, childless former SEAL, present-day Navy intelligence officer who reminds me of how Thor would look if he got rid of that helmet and gave himself a good shave.Am I dreaming?
I steal a sidelong glance at him, sitting close by my side in the packed pew at the Naval Academy Chapel.The famed chorus of Handel’sMessiahresonates through the domed building as though the glorious sounds are being sent by heaven above.
His eyes meet mine briefly and he sends me a smile that makes all my blood heat.
Hallelujah, indeed.
This—this is worlds apart from the most recent date in my memory—coffee at Denny’s with a divorced dad I met on a field trip to the Baltimore Science Center, a date which I had thought was going well until he asked me for a loan for a tech start-up he was positive would make him a billionaire.
That’s the kind of dating I’m accustomed to—the kind that never makes it to Date #2.
But this?This feels more like the kind of old-fashioned courtship that I see in those cheesy romances I watch after Nicholas has gone to bed and I finally have the TV to myself.
We sit so close in the pew in the Navy chapel that our thighs touch.And I relish the feel of it more than I should.This is just a first date.For that matter, I didn’t even know itwasa date for the first half hour of it.I need to tamp down all these warm fuzzies that keep welling up inside me.
But his presence somehow draws out these feelings.Couple that with the memory of how sweet he was to my son, and I’m ready to bare my soul to this guy.My soul… and so much more.
I know the rules when it comes to dating the divorced dad crowd.We meet for coffee and mostly talk about work, avoiding the topic of our kids because we’re trying very hard to prove that we actually have alifeoutside of parenthood.
From there wemightmove on to an eventual dinner, usually ending in an extremely awkward kiss because at that point, the topic has generally shifted to our kids, and it just seems weird kissing after we’ve mostly been talking about what our little angels shoved up their noses at school today.
Some men proposition sex at this point, which usually starts with the words,“Since you have a sitter and I have a sitter, why not?”—words that, for the record, never made any girl’s toes curl.
I’ve heard from other divorced moms that if a dating relationship makes it to date three or four, sex is more than appropriate, and at date ten or eleven, I should probably introduce my son to him.But I’ve never made it to date three or four… much less ten or eleven.
Which is, right now, why my body feels like if you sliced me open, you’d find nothing inside of me except burning desire.
I glance at his hand, so close to mine as it rests, unsuspecting, on his leg.That hand has no idea how much I want to hold it, how much I want to see if I get that same thrilling feeling that I have each time he touches me.That feeling of closeness that I don’t often have time to even notice I’ve missed.
But I’m noticing it now.
Would I be too forward if I touched him right now?It might be good to send him some kind of signal, seeing as the first half hour of this date I thought he just wanted to be friends.
But do guys like him like forward women?
For that matter, I have to wonder if a public display of affection like that is even appropriate here in the Navy chapel, with the glow of the full moon shining through the intricate stained-glass windows.I soak up the setting—the beauty of this historic building, the sounds of the choir filling every tiny crevice in my soul, and the warmth of a man at my side.
When I hear the final notes of theMessiah, which I know very well since I play it every Christmas eve, I want to weep—almost literally.Because I don’t want this moment to end.
Ilikethis.I like going out with a man and feeling like somethingmorethan just Nicholas’s mom.Ilikefeeling decidedly and unmistakably female.
“That was incredible,” I breathe out after the applause subsides.He has no idea I’m only partially talking about the music itself.It’severything.
It’shim.
“They always do amazing Christmas concerts.”Then he stands and reaches down to take my hand, helping me up from the pew.And he doesn’t let go.
Thank God, he doesn’t let go.
An undeniable warmth fills me to completion, stealing my breath from my lungs.