ChapterFifteen
Weston
I’d been doing justfine since she ended things, or that’s what I told myself. I’d stayed away from work, avoiding her as much as possible. A few weeks and she’d be moving back into the building. The cleanup from the flood had come along quickly and things were looking better according to Reece and Addison.
During the day I could find things to occupy my time, but nighttime was the hardest. We hadn’t dated, had only slept together once, but the last night we’d shared was my favorite. She’d let me hold her, feeling her warm body next to mine, sleeping like only I could give her that kind of peace. Tonight, I feel alone. The scent of her shampoo that she’d left on my pillow is fading and will soon disappear completely.
I hate the thought as soon as it forms. She’s supposed to be here with me. I’d basically given up, said no to fighting for her, but is that what I want? Can I walk away so easily and pretend nothing ever happened between us?No.
I should be dating. Be open to someone new. But my stubborn heart only wants her. Hearts are pesky, paltry things. Craving things no one can give them. Like mine, only beating or feeling fully alive when I let my thoughts drift to her- traitorous petty bastard.
I’d gone on one date since Wynter rejected me a week ago. I’d hated every second of being with the other girl. Every touch felt wrong. Every smile like I was cheating. She’d been clingy and by the end of dinner I was almost running to get away from her.
Thoughts of Wynter and the smell of her shampoo on my pillow had eventually let me drift off to dreamland. If I can’t have her in real life, at least she visits me in my dreams. She’s perfect - creamy porcelain skin, ruby red lips, fire engine hair. Smiling from ear to ear as we run through a field of sunflowers.
It’s the first night I sleep eight hours straight through until morning since the day she pulled my heart out and stomped it to pieces.
Making the conscious decision to get back to my normal routine after avoiding her for a week, I go for a run.
A pair of shorts and a t-shirt later, I do a leisurely four-block run, and my breath is heavy as I get back to the building. Holding the door open for me, Jacob smiles.
Sticking my hand in the closing elevator door, I hear a shriek. Like I’d spooked whoever’s on the elevator already. The doors open and I’m face to face with my ice queen.
Stepping in beside her, I nod my hello, not speaking. My eyes are drawn to her like flies to honey, betraying the broken, aching feeling in my chest. She meets my gaze, but her face remains motionless. Not even a flicker of emotion toward me. How can she be so okay with everything?
As I study her, our last fight comes to the surface. I’m standing across from the woman I’ve fallen in love with, and I don’t even know how to feel about it. I wait for her to speak, but the silence is painfully deafening.
Her eyes lock on mine and I can’t look away. Fear of the unknown spreads across her face, mimicking my own emotions. She bites her lip and I remember what it’s like to do the same. I want to pull her into me and hold on for dear life, beg her to give me another chance. To give us another chance, but I don’t want to appear desperate.
“So this is how it’s going to go?” I bite out through gritted teeth. She stares back at me, continuing her silence.
“What do you want me to say? That I made a mistake? That I shouldn’t have let you slip through my fingers so easily because I miss you. Or that I should’ve let you woo me until we spent so much time with each other that we eventually hated each other? The only way this ends is in pain. I won’t do that to you.”
“We aren’t them.”
“Who?”
“Whoever made you think love isn’t real.” I lean into her and a blush creeps up her face. Her breathing gets slightly heavier and I can tell that my presence alone affects her.
Soft breaths beat against my skin like the lightest feather. If I listen hard enough, I can probably hear every single beat of her heart as it pounds out a steadily increasing rhythm.
Our lips collide in a punishing violation seconds later and she sighs into my mouth, her fingers twining into the soft hair at the back of my neck. She opens and I take advantage, thrusting my tongue into her mouth, fondling each twist and turn it makes with my own. I feel her teeth bite down and the sting lingers for a minute, leaving a mark. Brutal, but truthful. I press her body closer to mine because she’s still too far away even though she’s so close. A rekindling of feelings flows through my veins, each pulse of my heart causing a fresh charge.
She releases a moan into my mouth, low and needy with lust. I let my hands slide down over her ass and grab a handful. The oversensitive douchebag in my pants twitches at the action, begging for more. Hooking her legs around me as I lift, she grinds against me and I trip, almost losing balance. We land hard against the side of the elevator. A spark ignites the feelings just below the surface.
Everything becomes more urgent, frenzied, almost as if we won’t get enough of each other before the elevator ride is over. The elevator dings and opens on my floor and I reach over, hitting the down button to lower a level. I can’t go back to my apartment, not when she’s finally in my arms again.
I continue to hold her around my waist as I step out and walk toward her apartment. She pulls away long enough to grab the keys from her purse and fumbles, trying to get it in the lock.
“I can’t stop thinking about you. How much I want you,” I grit out before she attacks my mouth with her lips again. She’s my addiction and even though I know I shouldn’t have her until she wants us, I can't help myself.
“I know, me neither.”
Our eyes meet, an expression of something I can’t read flames brightly, although her lust drunk eyes can’t hide how much she wants me and no matter how much I try not to, I always get sloshed on that look alone. The door opens to her apartment and we fumble our way inside, shutting it behind us.
I smash my lips to hers again, taking every bit of time I can with her to feel her pressed against me. I feel her heated core under the ugly yoga pants she’s wearing when I slide my hand between us. She rubs herself against me and I love that she craves closeness as much as I do.
I slip my hand under the elastic of her pants and glide my fingers over her smooth skin, surrendering to my inclination to be inside. To feel her. Only her. My fingers slide over the one place she opens for me, wishing it were her heart instead.