Quite fittingly, the song that was blaring out?
‘No One Knows.’
Even if it was one of my favorites, I grimaced. When the goddamn playlist agreed with you, things really were up in the air.
* * *
DECLAN
BEFORE
“I’m sosorry for your loss.”
Though I wasn’t actually grieving, I’d admit that if I was, hearing that on repeat was going a long way to pissing me off.
I wasn’t in the best of moods.
Not because today was the day my bitch of a fiancée was finally being put in the ground, but because I’d been stupid.
Well, not stupid. More hopeful than anything else.
Of course, Deirdre had a failsafe.Of course, she fucking did.
Which meant the bones of my ruination were in the air.
A handful of pictures and a goddamn gun were all that lay between me and the fucking noose.
A noose held up by my own father.
Sure, if it fell into the hands of a cop, I’d be fucked, but being fucked might have a happy ending. If Da ever found out abouthowI’d caused a war, then there were no happy endings. There’d be fucking nothing, because I’d be in a body bag before the night was through.
I rubbed a hand over my face, tired of playing a game, tired of looking like I was mourning when I was just glad that cunt was dead.
I’d had five days of feeling like I was flying high, even having to keep my distance from Aela hadn’t spoiled my glee, and then boom. Today, in the mail, my nightmare started up again.
Behind me, Deirdre’s body was in the ground, we’d dumped soil onto the casket, and I’d spent the past fifteen minutes shaking everyone’s hand and wishing I was anywhere else.
I stared at nothing, going through the motions like a robot, until a soft hand slipped into mine.
Jerking to life, my eyes were trapped in Aela’s.
Fuck.
I loved her.
I loved her so fucking much.
It was hard to keep my features under control, impossible even. Instead, I forced my entire being into rigidity, knowing that if I didn’t, people would figure out that she meant something to me.
Now that Deirdre was dead, I thought we could be together. It was one of the reasons why I’d been floating on cloud nine these past few days, because with that bitch out of the picture, I was free to be with whoever I wanted. But this morning’s mail put everything on the backburner.
Until I figured out who the fuck was behind it, I was at a loss. Which pissed me off even more.
She jerked back, making me aware my hand had tightened around hers, and I let go with a wince. Her eyes were big in her elfin face, and though I longed to cup her cheek, to draw her mouth to mine, I didn’t.Couldn’t.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.