WhatIjust did … and Dante’s reaction to me.
A mixture of emotions swirls up inside me, as I quickly move to button up the still-open shirt.
Part of me feels dirty and disappointed in myself for allowing things … no,encouragingthings to go so far. But another part of me feels alive and hungry, as if it’s only just gotten a taste of what it wants.
Control.
Power over my own life and body …
Even in my fear, it was Dante who couldn’t seem to control himself. He may have the brute strength to anchor me in place, but I was the one who brought him to the edge ... and I’d nearly pushed him off it too.
And I’d wanted to join him. I’d wanted him just as much as he seemed to want me.
I frown at this thought.
This isn’t the first time he’s stopped things from going further, and it has me wondering what’s holding him back. I’ve practically offered myself up to him on a silver platter, and yet he keeps pulling away.
Of course, the first time I begged him to take me wasn’t quite of my own volition.
He’s afraid of something, but what?
Surely, he can’t be afraid of me … can he?
It slowly dawns on me that this might actually be the case, but not because he’s afraid ofme.
He’s afraid of what I can do to him, and the effect I have on him. He’s afraid of losing control. The one thing he seems to care about more than anything else.
Why else would he apologize to me?
Why else would he seem so eager to have me one minute and so desperate to get away from me the next?
Now that I think about it, they may all feel this way.
Seven already nearly caved. Even Luci seems to have trouble being around me.
I shake my head in disbelief, a small smile tugging at my lips.
Of course, it’s all just a theory, but it’s something to work with while I try to plan my escape. Something I just might be able to use to my advantage.
My training may begin tomorrow, but I plan to be the one testing my theory … and their limits.
If I have to get on my knees to bring them to theirs, so be it.
Unable to keep my eyes open a moment longer, I pull the blankets over me and soon find myself drifting off into a deep sleep.
I wake the next morning to the lights slowly growing brighter … and an empty bed.
Dante didn’t return last night which only serves to further solidify my theory.
I sit up and scan the room, half expecting to see him or one of the other men waiting for me to wake up, but there’s no one else here.
Slipping out of bed, I make my way into the bathroom and freshen up at the sink as best I can before I return to the bedroom. I glance over toward the library, wondering if I have enough time to try to get a peek at Anna’s diary again before anyone returns to check on me … or start today’s training sessions.
I would have tried last night, but it was impossible to fight off sleep after Dante left, and I’ve barely had a moment to myself since I agreed to their plans.
Biting my lip, I take several steps toward the library before pausing to listen as I hold my breath.
Nothing.