CHAPTER TWELVE
Ilook up warily when the door opens, and Enzo steps in. The room beyond is now empty and quiet. Enzo avoids my gaze and says gruffly, “C’mon Lola.”
My bones creak when I stand, and I feel like an eighty-year-old woman as I step through the door and out of the building. It’s so bright, I wince, covering my eyes. He leads me down an alley and turns me away from the crowd going about their business. I don’t look back, although I want to because maybe Cole is waiting to give me a goodbye. But I can’t risk it, and so I say goodbye in my head, even though it will never be good enough.
It’s another beautiful May morning in Northern Arizona. The sun warms my head. The air is fresh and clean. The days will slowly but surely heat up until it’s unbearable, especially without central air to cool things down, but I guess I won’t have to worry about that anymore.
I raise my head to the clear blue sky and stare at it as we walk in silence, sweat trickling down my spine. This will be my last view, and I concede it’s a pretty one.
Even if it means my death, I have no regrets because Shepherd was right. I am a survivor. I am a lone fucking wolf hidden among his sheep, and, in many ways, I fought to the end, but this is just so much bigger than me.
“Please just make it quick, Enzo,” I murmur.
“Shut up,” he says, his hand spasming around my arm.
I say nothing more and he leads me back to where my nightmare began, Shepherd’s home. We walk up the pathway between a well-kept desert landscape that is achingly trimmed and beautiful considering the houses around it.
He pulls me through the empty living area and pushes me into the second room on the left. This is the room where David died not too long ago, but it’s bare now. The floors have been cleaned, although the detritus that was David and the man’s life still clings to the grout in brown swirls.
Enzo steps in behind me, and I turn back to face him. He looks at me impassively, but when I open my mouth to speak, he cuts me off. “Don’t.”
“Please, Enzo—” I start again.
“No, Lola, there’s nothing I can do. You brought this on yourself. You and Cole,” he spits at me.
Shit. Fuck. Damn. My stomach sinks and terror takes flight in my chest. What about Cole? Fuck. Is he next? “Cole?” I ask quietly.
Enzo snorts. “He was never safe. Fucker thought he could pull one over on Shepherd.”
“What are they going to do?” I ask, my voice seeming disconnected and tinny to my ears. What can I do about Cole? Currently nothing.
“Kill him. He’s already been taken.”
“No, no, no, no,” I whisper frantically, sinking to the floor.
“Lola, fuck! You did this. Why couldn’t you just stay the fuck away from him?” Enzo asks desperately.
“Because I love him,” I say calmly, too calmly.
“Fuck that. He’s a piece of shit who chose someone else over you!”
“We don’t know why he did what he did, but I can tell you that Cole’s choices are born out of his perceived duty to others. Whatever his choice, he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do,” I say dully. I believe this wholeheartedly; I just wish for once he had stepped back long enough to realize how fucking dangerous it is to be the hero all the goddamn time.
“Yeah, well. I hope it helps him when he’s facing down a slow death in the fucking hole,” he snarls, his dark eyes flashing when they meet mine.
My heart hurts at the thought of Cole alone in that fucking room, but there’s nothing I can do now, just as there’s nothing he can do. Cole knows, I know, even Enzo knows the truth. Still, I whisper sadly, the words like poison on my tongue, “The only person responsible for this is Shepherd.”
Enzo steps toward me so rapidly that I jump and fall on my ass. “You’re so fucking naive, Lola.”
Mutely, I stare into his face that’s filled with rage and pain and hate, a kaleidoscope that leaves me dizzy. When I don’t respond, he grabs my hair in his fist and pulls me up before pressing me against the wall. Absently, I note his erection as he says, so low I can barely hear, “Why couldn’t you see I wanted you, Lola?”
“Oh, Enzo,” I say, raising my eyes to his, only to flinch when he grabs my chin in his rough fingers. “I couldn’t ever be yours. You know that. Not without risking my life.”
He drops me so quickly I almost fall to my knees, his brows rising and then slamming over his eyes. He clenches his hands, his chest heaving, but just as quickly, he’s back on me, and I stare teary-eyed as he spits in my face. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter now, does it, baby doll? So, I’m going to take what I want before I have to put a bullet in your head.”
My palms are sweaty, my throat dry, and adrenaline is racing through my system, creating a dull roar that echoes in my head. My heart hurts for Enzo, for whatever happened to put him here, because he’s alone, and despite his fake cheer and playboy mannerisms, he always has been. Maybe that’s why we got along so well. Misery loves fucking company. Enzo was always damned, and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Enzo, even if you force me now, it won’t be what you want or need,” I insist.