“Yes, Shepherd,” they answer in unison.
“Lola here believes that she doesn’t have to follow the rules. Isn’t that right, Lola?”
I stand before the lectern, my back to the crowd, and say nothing because it doesn’t matter what I say. No one will stand up for me, and I pray Cole remains seated, that he saves himself because there is nothing he can do but die for me, and it would be a useless fucking end. In this, maybe Marie can finally get the safety she craves.
Instead, I clench my fists and raise my chin. It’s clear I’m scared, but I still have a little dignity left. Let him take me. Let him kill me, but I won’t bow down to the bastard.
“Lola sinned against God. She sinned against the flock. She sinned against me,” he says, pounding his chest.
All the while he pontificates, I focus on him, my seething rage and hate shining from my eyes. His smile grows at my look, but my gaze promises retribution. He may not die at my hands, but he will die. He will meet the wrong person at the wrong time, and he will meet his end, and my smile spreads across my face at the thought.
Because I know. I now know how David died, how the first zombie attack happened after I left the hole, how Manny turned and took down ten of our fellow survivors at the ranch. I know, and eventually, it will be Shepherd’s end. He won’t know what hit him, and it will be divine intervention if there ever was such a thing.
His smile drops as mine grows wider before he narrows his eyes consideringly. But I just fucking grin because I have nothing left to lose. Bring it, fucker. You’ll never know what hit you.
“Enzo, take Lola away,” he says, no longer eager to humiliate me in front of his flock. I guess if I’m not cowed and crying, then I am of no use to him in subduing the sheep.
Enzo takes my arm and pulls me through the same doorway the kids disappeared behind not so long ago, and the irony isn’t lost on me. I pitied them, and now I am them. What a tangled fucking web we weave.
He pushes me into the room and closes the door behind me, leaving me alone in the dark, and I sink to the floor with my back against the door. This is uncomfortably close to how the hole felt, and I don’t think I can bear to go back there. A bullet to the head would be preferable, but I can’t count on Shepherd to make this short and sweet. The man’s an animal.
I can hear Shepherd continuing his sermon behind the door. Thankfully, his words are muffled because at the least, if I’m going to fucking die, I shouldn’t have to listen to his fucking delusions ever again.
This leaves me with my thoughts. This is the end. I hope Cole knows how much I love him. I hope Enzo understands I forgive him. I hope Marie survives long enough to live her life fully, with her child and Cole by her side. And I hope Enzo takes down Shepherd, even if it’s the last thing he does.