Chapter 20
Having seen the distaste on Miss Skeffington’s face, Thomas was certain that he would spend the night alone. It was sure to be a most uncomfortable night indeed. After having avoided a nightcap with Owen, sure that the Viscount would question him on Rachel’s arrival, he laid abed with nothing to do but think on it himself.
He was most surprised when he heard the gentle rapping of knuckles on the bedroom door. Having been unprepared for any guests, Thomas quickly clambered from the bed and threw on his silken robe. Crossing the room, a terrible thought crossed his mind.
What if it is Rachel?He could not bear the thought of having to open up that can of worms. Her arrival had been bad enough and the look on Alice’s face had made him feel sick. He could not bear the thought of having to reject the poor woman so soon, but it would be his only option if she was indeed standing on the other side of his bedroom door.
Pausing with his hand on the doorknob, he sucked in a deep breath to steady himself before finally twisting and pulling it open. He very nearly stumbled backward with shock when Miss Skeffington barged right into the room, looking like a whirlwind of blonde-haired, hazel-eyed anger.
“Alice!” he exclaimed. Realising how loudly he had spoken, he quickly shut the door behind her and lowered his voice, “What are you…”
“No! Do not call me that!” she snapped at him. “You lost the right to call me that.”
Thomas’ stomach clenched. Just seeing the red rims of Alice’s eyes told him all he needed to know. She gone to bed hours ago, and yet, it was clear she had not slept. In fact, the way she sniffled suggested to Thomas that she might even have been crying.
“Miss Skeffington, after this evening, I did not think you would come,” Thomas said, trying to remain calm in the face of her anger. It would not do him any good to argue with her.
“I was not going to,” Alice admitted, and she appeared to deflate a little as she added, “But I need answers, Thomas.”
He cringed at the way she said his name, how intimate and sorrowful her tone was. He longed to go to her, to wrap his arms around her and tell her that all would be well, but he could see from the tension that had left her body rock hard that she would not thank him for it. She was clearly furious.
“I will tell you anything that you wish to know,” Thomas assured her. He straightened up, lifting his head to look Miss Skeffington directly in the eye. “I have nothing to hide.” Yet a small voice in the back of his mind asked,Do you not?
Miss Skeffington looked at him, her gaze conflicted. She seemed to look deep into his soul and Thomas saw the way her throat convulsed as if she was trying to swallow past a lump that had formed there. Then she asked, “Who is she, Thomas?”
That question was the very one Thomas had been dreading all evening. He had never been one to hide his romantic life before and yet now he found that it was the very last thing he wanted to talk about, especially with her, with the one woman he actually wanted to be romantic with.
“She…her name is Rachel Hyatt,” Thomas stated, unable to say any more due to the lump in his own throat. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his robe in order to stop Miss Skeffington from seeing how they trembled.
“I meant, who is she toyou?” Miss Skeffington corrected herself. Her gaze never left Thomas’ and he began to feel more than a little uneasy. He could feel himself wandering into a trap and yet there was nothing he could do. There was no easy way out of this, none that could ever lead him to the destination he wished for most. Only the truth could save him now.
Inhaling, Thomas thought carefully on how to answer before opening his mouth. “Miss Hyatt and I spent quite some time together before my father’s passing.”
“Then you were courting her?” Miss Skeffington spoke through a clenched jaw, clearly struggling against her own temper. Thomas flinched at the question. It was not because it was a difficult question to answer but because he was certain that Miss Skeffington would not like what he had to say.
Unable to say the words out loud, Thomas instead nodded and then blurted, “Though it was never serious.”
The instant that the words left his lips Thomas knew they had been the wrong ones to say. He watched Miss Skeffington’s cheeks redden and bulge and, in an instant, she snapped back, “You mean, just like we have never been serious?”
Her hands tightened into fists at her sides and the rigidity in her body told Thomas it was taking all she had not to strike him. Against his better judgement, Thomas took a step toward her.
“What has happened between us is entirely different,” he stated. Removing his hands from his pockets, he reached out to Miss Skeffington, his hands falling back to his sides when she inched away from him.
“Do not touch me,” she said, her voice quiet and harsh. The way she trembled made Thomas want to pull her into his arms, but he barely refrained. He would not touch her if she did not want it. “Did…did you take her to bed as you did me?”
The question stopped Thomas dead in his tracks. Miss Skeffington most definitely would not like the answer. He could not bring himself to give her one. Neither did she really appear to need one.
“Why am I even here? Why am I doing this to myself?!” she snapped. She threw her hands up and cupped her head as though it was throbbing terribly. Thomas clenched his jaw against the urge to hold her. It was growing more and more unbearable. “I told myself from the beginning that things between us would never be serious. We both agreed.”
Thomas was nodding though he could not bring himself to speak words of agreement for fear that might be the end of it. If Miss Skeffington were to walk out on him now, he was sure that would be it. He might never see her again. Unable to bear the thought of ever saying goodbye, Thomas rushed forward and grabbed hold of Miss Skeffington’s forearms, changing his mind on his vow not to touch her against her will.
“What are you…” she snapped but Thomas quickly cut off her, shaking her gently.
“Miss Skeffington, look at me,” he ordered. When she kept her gaze averted, she snapped, “Alice! Look me in the eye!”
The moment that she did, Thomas was lost for words. The emotions that danced in her hazel eyes were almost overwhelming. They threatened to wash over him like crashing waves, drowning him, making it impossible for him to speak.
“What could you possibly have to say to make things any better?” Alice demanded. She glared at him, making it abundantly clear just how angry she was. Her body was so tense in his arms that Thomas almost released her. She did not feel like Alice.