I remember him shunning the subject when I tried to talk about it before I knew the truth about his life. Now I know who he is, I have a whole host of new ideas about how his skin has been damaged in such a way.
“You were shot, weren’t you?”
He nods. “Seb and I both took a bullet one night last year in our attempts to protect Stella.”
“Shit,” I hiss, all the air rushing from my lungs as I read between the lines. “It was Joe,” I state, reaching out and pressing my palm to the scar high up on his chest.
“Yeah.”
“He could have killed you. He could have killed all of you.”
“He could have. But he didn’t.”
No. He was the one who ended up dead.
“What are you going to do about Jonas?” I ask, remembering what he said about not doing anything until I’ve decided if I want to see him or not.
“My offer still stands. He’ll remain alive until you make a decision. Speak to your mum about it. If she wants to see him, then I can arrange that too.”
“I will,” I promise.
“Go inside and warm up, baby. I’ll message you when I get home.”
“Yeah?” I ask, feeling a little better about this whole thing with just those few words.
“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere if you don’t want me to.”
“You’re incredible, Toby.”
He shakes his head, but he doesn’t argue.
“I don’t deserve you, but if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy.”
My lips part to respond, but he beats me to it.
“Go. And if you need me, you know where I am.”
His eyes hold mine, and it breaks my heart that he’s suddenly unsure around me.
Reaching out, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull his lips to mine.
Our kiss is full of pain and longing, but thankfully, I don’t taste a goodbye on his lips, and I swear to God that he can’t on mine either, because this isn’t the end, it’s just… we’ve hit pause to do the right thing.
“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“I’ll be waiting, baby. Go and do your thing.”
He smiles at me, although it doesn’t meet his eyes before I find the strength from somewhere deep inside me to push the door open and climb out.
I open the door, spotting a shadow moving in the hallway through the crack, but I don’t step inside until I’ve forced myself to watch Toby drive away. And when I do stumble inside, I fall right into the arms of the woman waiting for me.
“Shh, baby. It’s going to be okay.”