“You drive a hard bargain. I’ll see you later.” I steal one more kiss before ripping the door open and forcing myself to walk away from her.
Originally, she wanted me to take her home. But after a little discussion, and an orgasm or two, I turned her around to my way of thinking. There’s just something so fucking hot—so fucking right—about the thought of coming home and finding her here.
I look back down the hallway as I get to the lift, wishing she was standing there watching me, and continue to fight with myself not to just stay with her.
I know she’s right. I could very easily let my feelings—my obsession—for her consume every second of my life. Again.
But deep down, there’s this real fear that she’s going to run. That the last few days have been nothing but a tease for something I can’t have.
It’s all just been too… easy, and I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
She took the news about Stella shooting Joker too well. She’s fitting into my life, my friends, my entire fucking world entirely too easily. And nothing ever is that simple.
My fists curl as the lift doors open before me and I squeeze my eyes closed as I try to convince myself that leaving her right now is the right thing to do.
I’ve got her tracked, I’ll know if she leaves and where she goes. Something she’s more than aware of, and amazingly hasn’t asked me to stop.
I just… I can’t force aside that something is wrong. But I swallow it down as I step into the lift and put some more distance between us.
* * *
“Bro, you look fucking wiped,”Seb says when he’s the first to find me in the common room at lunch.
I decided against sitting in the restaurant like we usually do and just grabbed a sandwich so I could hide in here. Maybe get some sleep, because he’s not wrong. I haven’t exactly got much rest since I found Jodie in my flat on Saturday afternoon.
“Things with Jodie that good, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s the problem.”
“Uhh… how is getting laid until you can’t keep your eyes open a bad thing?” he asks, dropping onto the sofa beside me.
We’re in the very back corner of the common room, hidden behind a few rows of bookcases. There’s usually a group of book nerds surrounding it, but I made the out-of-character move to pull rank over them when I got here not so long ago so I could make use of the solitude. That’s more of a Nico or Alex move, and probably why they looked at me for a good minute as if I’d just sprouted an extra head. But they soon figured out that I wasn’t joking and was a big enough threat to their remaining time at Knight’s Ridge that they quickly grabbed their stuff and fucked off.
I stare at him for a beat, the need to talk to someone who understands all this crazy shit burning through me.
“It’s… I can’t…” I blow out a breath as he smiles in amusement at me.
“She’s fucked your brain right out of you, hasn’t she?”
“What is she doing, Seb? Why, after everything, is she still willing to be anywhere near me?” I ask, deciding to just go for it and bleed out all over him.
“Because despite all that, she fucking cares, man.”
“But why? After everything I did, she should be running in the opposite direction.”
“Yeah, right alongside Stella and Emmie, but they’re still here too.”
“Stella told her about Joker.”
“Yeah, she told me.”
“And Jodie is okay with it. She’s barely said a word about it.”
“She’s probably just trying to get her head around everything. Deal with it all. This situation, us… we’re a lot to take.”
“Yeah, I just don’t get it.”
He stares at me for a beat, shifting in his seat, showing me just how uncomfortable he is having this heart to heart with me. I’m grateful that he doesn’t back away from it.