“Do you think Jonas ever struggled to sleep after all the fucked-up shit he did?”
A laugh of disbelief falls from my lips.
“That sick cunt never lost a wink of sleep over that shit.”
“Exactly. I know you’re worried about being like him. But you’re not, Toby. You care, you love hard, and you want to be a good person. You are a good person. It’s just a hard thing to be in the lives we live. Sometimes we fuck up. Sometimes our inner monsters come out to play. But that doesn’t mean that’s all we are.
“Any girls who think they can handle this life need to appreciate that there are two sides to all of us. Stella’s seen it in Seb time and time again. Same with Emmie and Theo. And both of them love our boys with everything they are. There’s no reason why you can’t have the same.”
A smile twitches at my lips as I let his words roll around my head a little.
“You’re a bit of a softie really, aren’t you, Nic?”
He tsks. “I guess I can have my moments,” he admits. “But seriously though, I’ve seen how happy she makes you, man. I want that for you. I want to see you smile like you do when you’re with her.”
Memories flood me of the time I’ve spent with Jodie, and I can’t help but smile because he’s right.
His phone pings and I look over as he pulls it out and sits up.
He shoots a message back before turning to look at me.
“Wanna get out of this hellhole?”
I stare at him for a beat.
“Thank you.”
“I’ve got your back, man. Always.” He smiles at me before his expression turns hard.
“But…” I prompt, sensing that there’s more to that statement.
“But if you go off fucking grid again and make us all panic, I’ll beat your arse into next fucking week.”
“Pfft, I’d like to see you try.“
His brow quirks as a smirk twitches at his lips. “Pull that stunt again and we’ll find out.”
His phone goes off again, and this time when he reads whatever is on the screen, his face lights up.
“Booty call?”
“Hell yeah.” His eyes sparkle when they find mine.
“What?” I ask, not liking the look on his face. It usually precedes trouble.
“Nothing. Come on. Alex is hanging out in the driveway, waiting for us.”
“He’s sitting down there?” I ask in disbelief. “Why didn’t you bring him up?”
“Because this is your place. I didn’t think you’d want every motherfucker knowing about it.”
“Thanks, man. You’re pretty fucking awesome, you know that?”
“Hell yeah, I do.”
“Modest too,” I joke, sliding my arse down the tiles as he drops over the edge, throwing himself back into my room a second before I follow.
“It’s time to move on from this shit, Tobes. You’ve got too much good in your future to dwell on the past.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and drags me toward my bedroom door. “And that starts right now.”