His eyebrows popped up in amusement.
“I didn’t answer your DM about coming to visit. I thought I had. I meant to. My mom said I couldn’t and I was sad about that. And I thought I answered it.”
“Can I say I understand now?”
I nodded.
“Because I do,” he said.
“I don’t want to fight anymore. I want to be friends again.”
He took the sweatshirt I was still gripping in my hand and pulled it over my head. I snaked my arms into the still-warm sleeves.
“It was hard for me when I left too,” he said. “You are like sunshine Norah.” He brushed a piece of hair off my temple. “You radiate positive energy, and when that was out of my life, I was in a dark place. It took me a long time to come out of that. And the thought of coming back here, of remembering what it felt like to have you in my life every day only to have to leave again was a hard thought.”
His speech made me realize even more that I couldn’t tell him how I felt. Why would I throw that out there when we only had two more weeks together? When we were leaving each other again. “That’s why you didn’t want to be here?”
He nodded.
“Not because of Dylan?”
“Well, the Dylan thing and you not responding to my message is what made me think you wouldn’t care if I was distant.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “So you weren’t distant because you thought I was in love with you?”
“No, I…Wait, what?”
“Your sister told me. She told me that she heard you tell Austin that I had a crush on you.”
He let out a half laugh, half sigh. “No, Austin was being stupid.Hesaid that you had a crush on me.Hesaid I shouldn’t lead you on. She must not have stuck around for the part where I told him he was wrong.”
“I never had a crush on you.”
He raised one hand like he was taking an oath. “I know.”
“You were my best friend,” I said. “And I just want to be friends again.”
“Norah, we are friends,” he said. “We’ve been friends our whole lives.”
“I know.”
“Why are you crying, then?”
I wiped at my eyes, which were now leaking unwanted tears. “Because I’m glad we’re okay.”
“These are happy tears? Not mad tears?”
I nodded and his brow went down like he didn’t believe me. And he shouldn’t believe me. Even though I was happy we were okay, I knew how devastated I’d be in a couple weeks when he left again.
I reached out and took his hands in mine.
“Your fingers are like icicles.” He brought my hands up to his warm neck and placed them there, covering them with his.
My breathing slowed, my stomach fluttered, and my eyes shot to his lips. My brain screamed,No!
“How did you remember about Dylan, anyway?” he asked.
“The notebook,” I said. “Tonight I read the entry where you mentioned someone making up a nickname for you.”