***
I had not slept well. Not that I was surprised. It was morning now and the sun was shining around the edges of the blinds, making them glow like a portal to another world. I wondered if everything was screwed up in that world too.
My phone was full of text messages from Willow. I ignored them and reached over to the windowsill, but instead of grabbing my flash cards, I picked up the notebook. We’d left off on a Skyler entry. I ran a finger over his handwriting and then read.
Right now it feels like life is just happening to us, outside of our control. One day we’ll get to pick everything about our lives. Where we want to live, who we want to spend our time with. Who we don’t. I’ll choose you, Norah.
I closed the book and pushed it to the side again. I remembered reading that entry the first time. It was before I knew the Huttons were moving, and I was so confused. I’d pulled on my shoes and ran to Skyler’s house. He wasn’t home, though.
“Where is he?” I’d asked his mom. I knew his schedule like my own and he should’ve been home.
“He went for a walk.”
I checked all the normal places: the orchard, the neighborhood park, the elementary school courtyard. He wasn’t in any of them. Finally, I found him in his own backyard, in his sister’splayhouse.
“Hey, dork,” I said, peeking my head through the small window. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“I was walking.”
“That’s what your mom said. But you don’t look like you’re walking. You look like you’re sitting in a very small playhouse.” I stuck my arm through the window, trying to reach him.
He laughed and scooted to the back corner.
“Fine, I guess I’m coming in.” We hadn’t sat in the playhouse in at least a year and when I opened the door, I knew it would be a tight squeeze.
“Don’t come in. We won’t both fit.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Why do you think everything is a game?”
“Because I like games.”
He rolled his eyes.
I climbed in. “Look at that. I win.”
“Win what? The reward of feeling claustrophobic?”
“Am I too close?” I inched even closer to him. “Do you hate this?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, noticing that he wasn’t playing along with my teasing. “Does this have to do with that confusing notebook entry you wrote?”
Skyler’s knees were up against his chest, his eyes shining with held back tears. “Mom said we’re moving.”
“Your parents want a bigger house or something?”
“No. We’re moving far away.”
“What?” My body went numb. “No. You can’t.”
“I don’t want to.” Tears ran freely down his cheeks now. He reached out and grabbed my hand. “It’s okay.”
I pulled my hand away. “You’re okay with this?”
“No, I’m not. I’m scared.”