CHAPTER 30
I didn’t even care about the gross tile floor or walls in the public bathroom where I sat, fully dressed, door locked. I meant to take the shower I had planned on taking before, but I just sat there, steam filling up the room.
Olivia was sick.
My chest had been on fire since I heard the news and it still was. I had thought I was worried before but now I was overwhelmed with worry. Was she really going to be okay, like they’d both assured me? People beat cancer all the time. Stage two was good news…at least I hoped. But how could I keep this from Skyler?
“Unexpected question number one hundred, Norah,” I mumbled. “Would you say that when making out with someone, you should have the decency to be completely honest with them? Or do you not believe in morals at all?” I squeezed my eyes shut. “It’s not your secret to tell. It’s not your secret totell…”
I shut off the shower, picked up my phone, and dialed Willow.
“Hello,” she answered after three rings, her voice sleepy.
“Sorry, I forgot it was so late,” I said, my voice betraying my emotion. Tears filled my eyes and I sniffled. “I found out…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Oh no,” she said. “He told you? I’m going to kill him.”
“What?” I asked.
“I wanted to be the one to tell you. In person. After your interview.”
I blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what she was tellingme.
“Do you hate me? Please don’t hate me. You’re my best friend. I didn’t mean to fall for him. It just happened.”
And just like that, it hit me, like a slap across the face. Ezra talking to someone on the phone, telling them he wouldn’t tell me. Ezra reading a note I thought was mine but was obviously his. Ezra texting in the bathroom. The message preview I saw onhis home screen. Ezra didn’t know about Olivia’s secret. He had his own. “You and my brother?” I whispered. “For how long?”
“I don’t know…”
That wasn’t true. And that meant this wasn’t brand-new. They had been keeping it from me for a while. “Is this why you wanted to be my friend?” How come it had never occurred to me before? Everyone knew and loved my brother. He was confident and funny and high school royalty. I thought Willow had been immune to his charms.
“Seriously?” she asked, anger in her voice.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and jammed my fingeragainst the red circle as hard as I could. Then I pushed the heels of my hands against my eyes. This was too much to process all at once. Olivia and Willow and Ezra. My hands were shaking. I stood up on wobbly legs and turned the shower back on. Then I peeled off my clothes and stood under the stream until the water ran cold. I dried off and pulled my pajamas over my still slightly damp skin.
I gathered up my things and opened the door. A strangled scream escaped my mouth when someone was standing right outside waiting for me.
Ezra put his finger to his lips.
I shoved past him, realizing what this meant: Willow had called him. Because he was someone she called now. She had told him everything. Told him to fix it. He couldn’t fix it. “Leave me alone.”
“We were going to tell you,” he said.
“Ezra, if you keep talking to me, I swear I will be forced to punch you.”
“Norah, hear me out. Please.”
“No. I just want to sleep.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way but I’m not sorry about my feelings for Willow.”
I whirled on him, poking my finger into his chest. “She’s all I have back home, Ezra. You could’ve had anybody. I only haveher.”
“One person shouldn’t be your everything, Norah. Didn’t you learn that when Skyler left? Branch out. Find more friends. That’s what normal people do.”
I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek to keep myself from crying again and rushed ahead.
The wind chimes were going strong as I reached our campsite. They felt like the soundtrack to a horror movie now. I wasn’t sure I could be a wind chime girl after this.