6
Emily
David sent me out on a date with his friend’s brother—Stephen, the white sheep of the Haven family. Well-educated and kind. I guess David is sick of me moping around the house all the time.
I saw a picture or two online of Stephen, but I still feel like I’m on an unfortunate blind date.
I walk into the diner. The bell rings overhead, drawing unwanted glances from the other patrons. I peer around the small, one room dining floor.
Stephen notices me first and waves me over. He smiles (almost too much) at me. He has a book splayed face down on the table beside him. He stands and offers an awkward half-hug-half-handshake. We sit and take bites of our food between conversations about authors and politics. This guy is more my level, and I can't help but wonder if I am also this fucking boring.
He’s nice, which is a total contradiction to his brother, Marc. While Stephen buries his nose in a book, Marc is wiping the coke from his. Marc is much more attractive, though, and it's hard to imagine the Haven brothers being related at all. Stephen isn't ugly. He’s just not conventionally good looking. He’s someone I could share the love of books with, but not bodily fluids.
* * *
David
“So,how was the date? Tell me all about it,” I say, patting the sofa beside me.
She sits down with a groan. “You didn't tell me he'd be so...so...”
“Boring?”
I laugh. I know Stephen is boring, but he's the kind of boring Emily needs. He's the kind of stable, level-headed, well-mannered book worm that would make Emily happy in the long run. If she could only let go of the idea of me, she could find someone who will love her the way she deserves to be loved. Sometimes I wonder if Emily would flourish if I wasn’t around.
“Yes, boring,” she says.
She's being dramatic, as if the word leaves an awful taste in her mouth.
Is it really so bad to be a little boring? To have your shit together? To not need a line of coke to wake up every morning like his brother, Marc?
“Jesus, Em. Give the dude a chance. You know he must be a good guy if I set you up with him.”
Her cheeks flush and she smiles, thinks for a moment, and nods. I put my arm around her and pull her against me. She smells so nice. Vanilla and coconut. I breathe her in.
I hate the idea of her with anyone—including Stephen—but I don't dare tell her that. We’re in an awkward place. We can’t stand the thought of the other being with someone else, but we also can’t be together. I drew strength from my depths just to set her up with Stephen in the first place.
“How are you and that girl?” She says “girl” with a smoldering fire on her tongue. A failed attempt to come across as disinterested. She holds her tongue against the roof of her mouth and feigns interest instead.
“Elisa? Fine, I guess. She wants to date. Like, make it official.”
“And you don't?”
“More like I can't.”
Emily sighs. I don't know why she loves me. I certainly don't love me. I’m not a good person. I’m a person who won't be with someone whose company I enjoy because I am a power hungry prick that lives for the acceptance of my social circle. My self worth is directly related to what others think of me. And it’s one of the worst traits a person can have.