She came up on her elbows, her eyes wide.
“It’s not, Ghost. I swear.”
“You better mean that. You don’t barter your body with me. Fuck, you don’t barter your body with any man. You understand me?”
He paused as she flushed from his words that sounded too close to an accusation.
“I’m not a whore.”
He ran a hand over his mouth. “I know that, Jess. I’m just sayin’ this,” he paused, gesturing between them, “this can’t be that. I don’t want you wantin’ me ‘cause you’re grateful or some shit.”
“That’s not what this is, Ghost,” she whispered in a voice so soft he barely heard the words.
Jesus Christ. Could she really want him? His eyes strayed down her body as it lie on the bed before lifting to meet hers, piercing into her. “This what you want, Jess? Really want? ‘Cause once we cross that line, there’s no goin’ back. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I know.”
“And you’re gonna be able to handle it? Handle me?”
That gave her pause. He could see it flicker in her eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not that boy you remember, the one who let you walk out of that garage that afternoon.”
“I know you’re not.”
“Do you?”
She nodded.
Just the same, he felt the need to clarify, to make sure she understood. “I take what I want. When I want a woman, I take her. And she doesn’t walk out that door again until I’m through with her. You up for that, Jess? Because you better be damned clear on just what it is you’re signing up for. I get what I want. And right now I fuckin’ want you.”
“I want you, too. So what’s the problem?”
“What’s the problem?” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, turning away from her, and then just as fast spinning back to pin her with his eyes. “And tomorrow? If this all goes to shit, you gonna be okay with that? You gonna be okay with me? Havin’ that between us and then goin’ our separate ways?”
“You’re already so sure it won’t last.” It was a statement, not a question, but he answered it just the same.
“Yeah, I am. I know so. Guaranteed. We got no future, Jess. All we got is now. You up for that? Think you can handle that?”
He saw the disappointment weigh in her eyes. Fuck. She had some kind of knight-in-shining-armor fantasy going on in her head, still just as in awe of him as she’d been as a kid. But he was no ones hero. He couldn’t be that for her. He would never be that for her. She just didn’t know how wrong she was. But she’d find out the truth. Sooner or later, she’d see him for what he was. He shook his head.
“Jess.”
“Ghost, it’s okay. Whatever you’re willing to give, I’ll take. And I promise I won’t ask for more.” She extended her hand toward him. “Please.”
Fuck. She was like Eve holding out the apple. An apple he wanted to take. He needed to turn her down. Knew he should. Knew it’d be best for both of them in the long run. But right now, havin’ her look at him that way, like he hung the fuckin’ moon. Christ, he couldn’t stop the swelling in his chest. He wanted that. Craved it. To have a woman look at him the way she was right now lying there lookin’ at him? Christ, it was everything.
He found himself taking a step toward the bed, his hand lifting to grasp hers, their fingers intertwining, lacing together. And then he was moving over her again, his weight settling back on top of her, pinning that hand to the bed near her head.
The time for words, excuses and ‘what-ifs’ was over. His mouth took hers again and she welcomed him, her free hand coming up to clutch at him, pulling him closer. He loved that, the way she made him feel like she couldn’t get close enough. His free hand slid into her hair, his fist tightening as he took control of the kiss.
He kissed her a long time, taking his time with her. Enjoying every moment. He’d wanted this for a long time, fantasized about it a million times. Jerked off to the image of her in his head more times over the years than he wanted to admit.
His mind went back to that moment they’d shared in the garage so many years ago. She’d been just sixteen then, she was a woman now. And her kiss proved that. She matched his hunger, kiss for kiss, and he ate it up, giving back as much as he took. Until eventually kissing wasn’t enough, for either of them.
He lifted, straddling her and pulling her upright. Then he reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head, tossing it to the floor. His eyes moved over the lacy black bra she wore, the one he’d first seen in that bathroom in Sturgis when he’d bent her over that counter and pretended to fuck her. That was another vision that had tortured his dreams the last few nights.