“You had me, Talon.” She retorts glaring up at me angrily. “You had me and you fucked it up!”
“I know, you’re right, I did, but I’m trying to make it right, Snowflake.”
“Don’t Snowflake me!” Rein shoves me away from her. “Tell me, how do you plan on making it right? Huh?” she demands. “How am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to trust that you’re here because you want me and not her? She was the love of your life after all, right?”
I close my eyes and heave an exasperated sigh, “Jesus Rein, for goodness’ sake, of course I want you! And no, she wasn’t the love of my life, you are!”
“Bullshit! If that were true you wouldn’t have gone to such lengths to keep something so pivotal from me. Do you think I didn’t notice the look in your eyes and how quickly your demeanour changed whenever I brought her up?”
“Yes, because I was fucking terrified you would figure it out and I would end up losing you. It had nothing to do with my feelings for Taylor!” I declare taking hold of her shoulders and peering into her eyes.
“No, you were just selfish, like every other guy and put yourself and your needs first! Had you been honest with me you wouldn’t have lost me, Talon!” Rein exclaims in response and places her hand on her chest, her eyes watering. “I waited and waited for you to open up to me and you never did. I gave you every opportunity, but you chose to lie to me instead. Did you not stop to consider how I would feel when I found out? Or did that not matter to you as long as you had me bent over your fucking desk? Were you picturing her the entire time?”
Ouch.
That scathing remark knocked me for six. I stare at her wordlessly, my eyes searching hers for a long time while my mind processes her words. Was she being serious? Or trying to hurt me? I honestly couldn’t tell but whatever the case it cut me deep.
“Wow,” I utter, not bothering to mask the hurt in my voice. I rub my fingers over my left cheek and shake my head. It would have hurt a lot less if she slapped me hard across the face. “Do you want to know why I kept the truth from you, Rein?” Rein watches me as I shuffle toward her. “What you just said to me then, that’s why. Because I knew if I told you, you would have started questioning every little thing. I knew in the back of your mind you would always wonder if I was only with you because of Taylor and I wanted to protect you from that. It wasn’t because I was being selfish and thinking about myself, I was thinking about the impact it would have on you.” I explain evenly. Rein looks up at me dejectedly. “What kills me is you obviously don’t think much of me if you honestly believe I could ever be so vile or capable of using you like that.”
“You weren’t protecting me, Talon. I had a right to know, even if I did struggle with the truth at least I wouldn’t have questioned your integrity. I’m already riddled with trust issues, and you knew this, yet you kept the truth from me.”
“My integrity? That went out the window the day I started lusting after my student. Baby, I thought I knew what love was, until I met you, and you fucked me up from every conceivable angle.” I state walking toward her, I cup her face in my hands and tilt her hands up so she’s looking up at me. All the while praying inwardly, she doesn’t shove me away.
“What I feel for you Rein goes so far beyond love or anything I have ever felt for anyone in my life, including Taylor. I’m not just in love with you, I’m besotted, I’m obsessed. The love I feel for you is permeated deep into my soul.” I confess brushing my thumbs along her jaw while staring into her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Making it through each day knowing I will inevitably lose you and then watching you slip away was unbearable, Snowflake.” I press my forehead to hers when she closes her eyes.
“Talon…”
“What if it was always you,” I whisper to her and her eyes flicker open and she looks up at up me questioningly. “Taylor’s death, your accident, the transplant, and you choosing the school I was teaching at. What if all those things transpired so that we would find one another?”
Rein sighs softly and lowers her gaze from mine. She’s thoughtful for a lengthy moment and then slowly lifts her eyes to peer up at me. “Idon’t believe in fate. Nor do I believe in soulmates. Relationships requirework and commitment among many other things. Two people need to want to be together in order for them to actually make their relationship work. You told me that, remember?”
I nod biting down on my lower lip, I comb my fingers through her silken tresses. “I do, but I also believe that fate decides who comes in your life, but your heart is the one that chooses who stays. You already know I want to be with you. The question is do you want to be with me?” I ask her earnestly. I wait with bated breath for the entire duration it takes for her to answer.
God, please don’t say no.