CHAPTER19
Edward checked the pistol another time. Beside him, his footman offered a second pistol with spare shot in a bag.
“Thank you.” Edward nodded his head at the footman then checked the shot inside. His footman had done the courtesy of not asking once what the pistols were needed for. Edward knew the footman could be in little doubt of what was afoot, but he showed he had no intention to gossip about it either, for he didn’t press for information. “Is my carriage ready?”
“We were preparing it, Your Grace, but then another arrived.”
“Another?” Edward froze with his hands on the pistols, deep in thought. For a moment, he thought it could be Julia, but he dismissed the thought quickly.
He had left her in the early hours of the morning, though he had not wanted to. She was fast asleep, curled up in the covers when he had extricated himself from her and dressed. When he had parted, he had kissed her forehead softly, not wanting to wake her. He had already said goodbye to her in the best way possible. He didn’t want to wake her to have to say it all again with words.
After he had climbed back down from her bedchamber, he had taken his horse and ridden back to the house, where he had since been preparing for his duel.
“Whose carriage is it?” Edward asked. The footman gestured to the window behind him, encouraging him to see for himself. Edward stepped forward, pressing his face to the glass.
In the coldness of the morning, there was dew on the other sides of the window. His breath clouded the glass too, making it momentarily difficult to see who was beyond.
A black carriage had pulled up on the driveway and beside it stood a man, pacing back and forth wearing a frock coat. As he turned round, it was plain for Edward to see his face.
Charles!
Edward thanked the footman another time and pocketed the pistols in his own frock coat, before exiting the room. He took the top hat that was left on the coat stand and then stepped outside. His appearance on the top step made Charles pause in his pacing, turning to look at Edward, with the autumnal leaves that had scattered the driveway crunching beneath his feet.
“I wouldn’t have blamed you for not coming to be my second, Charles,” Edward said as he hurried down the steps. “To be honest, I wish you had stayed home.”
“As I said to you last night, I have made my decision.” Charles nodded and looked toward the house, as if searching the windows for something, then he returned his gaze to Edward. “Quick, we’ll take my carriage. The sun may not be up quite yet, but it is nearly with us.”
Edward nodded and climbed into the carriage, with Charles following in behind him. When the carriage door closed, Charles thumped the side, showing they were ready to leave. The carriage lurched forward, leaving Edward to jerk his face to the window, looking back to the house.
It was barely visible in the darkness, but he could picture it all the same. Just as he could picture the letter that he had left in his chamber for Esther to find.
If Edward didn’t come home, he knew the valet would find it later and bring it to Esther. Inside, was Edward’s goodbye. He would have rather done it in person, but he also couldn’t bear the idea of waking Esther. She was tired with carrying the baby and needed her sleep.
I will not die. I will live! Just as I told Julia.
Yet as he turned back to look at Charles, he was restless, with his knee jerking up and down repeatedly.
“What did Esther have to say about your decision to do this?” Charles asked eventually, breaking the silence between them.
“I didn’t tell her. She was asleep when I returned home.” His words made Charles veer forward, his brows knitted together.
“You didn’t tell her!?”
“She is in a delicate position right now. I have always put her first and will continue to do so. She needed her rest.”
“What do you mean ‘delicate?’” Charles’ voice was panicked as he leaned forward a little more. “What does that mean, Edward?”
Edward didn’t answer. He had kept Esther’s secret for so long, he wasn’t going to reveal it to Charles now.
“It doesn’t matter. Let us talk of our tactics ahead.” He took out the pistols and showed them to Charles, wishing to turn to the matter at hand.
“One thing more before we do.” Charles placed a hand over one of the pistols, lowering it between them. “Tell me this.”
“What?”
“I have seen you go from lady to lady without a second thought. When you announced your betrothal to Lady Julia, I thought it was merely because you had been caught together. After all, I saw all of that night with my own eyes.” Charles pointed out, with lowered eyebrows. “Thisthough is not something I ever expected. Are you willing to risk all this for Lady Julia? That does not sound like a marriage of convenience to me.”
“That’s because it wasn’t.” Edward focused on the gun another time. He wasn’t sure why the truth fell from his lips. It could have been because of the impending peril he was about to face, or the wish to air it to someone, but it came anyway. “It was fake, Charles, all of it. The betrothal was faked.” Charles’ jaw hung loose as he sat back on the carriage bench. “And with everything in me, by God, I wish it had not been fake at all.”