“Did you want to do what we just shared?”
“Yes.”
“And I wanted to do it, too. Where is the harm in that, Julia? In a little shared excitement.” He moved his lips to hers again, loving the passion of her kiss.
He maintained the moment for as long as he could, knowing that soon he would have to release her. They would have to go back to the parlor ready for Esther’s return. They would have to share tea and cake and pretend that none of this had happened.
How am I supposed to do that?
As Edward continued kissing Julia down her neck, feeling her knees lift either side of his hips as her body naturally responded to him, something came sharply into focus for him.
I cannot forget that this happened, nor do I wish to. This has changed things, completely.
* * *
Julia could still feel herself growing breathless as she looked across the tea table to Edward. She and Edward smiled and agreed with Lady Esther’s words at intervals, who was so excited to have company that she could not stop talking, but Julia was completely distracted.
She was thinking of Edward and what they had done together in his study. She thought of the way he had touched her, and how much she longed to know more. She half wondered if he felt the same, because he glanced at her as many times as she did him, then at one point, he moved his leg near hers under the table. They sat there together, their legs touching. It was a simple thing, yet it still made that heat grow within her.
Little wonder he is a rake when he can do such things!
For the first time, Julia felt she had a taste of why ladies went so willingly to a man like Edward. They could be shown true pleasures in this world, all in secret.
But… is that what I am to him now? Just another lady in his past?
Soon, it was time for Julia to take her leave. Lady Esther retired, for she grew tired and needed a nap, leaving Julia and Edward alone as he escorted her out of the house.
On the front doorstep, rain was beginning to fall, soft yet pervasive, as puddles grew in the gravel driveway. Julia was about to step out into that rain when Edward took her hand, holding her in the dry in the doorway for a few minutes longer.
“There is something I wished to tell you,” Edward said, smiling at her. He had held a similar smile as he had pleasured her. The mere thought distracted Julia again, with her heart wishing they could run back to that study right now and experiment further together.
“What is it?” she asked, trying to keep her mind on the conversation at hand.
“You said the orphanage where you volunteer needs a patron.” His words made her tilt her head to the side, wondering where he was going with this. “I have written to them to express my interest in being that patron.”
“Edward…” She struggled for words, her mouth opening and closing for a few seconds. “I do not understand. Why would you do that?”
“Ha! You speak as if it was a bad thing that I did.”
“No, not at all, I am just surprised,” she explained quickly. “You really intend to do this?”
“I do.” He grimaced and looked down at their connected hands. “Yesterday evening I went back there and looked around. The state of the building is truly awful, and those children, they all need new clothes.”
“Such things cost money.”
“It is money I have.” Edward spoke with confidence and lifted his eyes to meet hers again. “I’d like it go to the orphanage. It’s right they have use of the money when I am scarcely using it.”
“You are a kind man indeed.” Julia’s words seemed to startle him, for his eyebrows raised. “You seem to hide this kindness from thetonvery well? Why do you hide it?” She began to realize her words were more perceptive than she had first known. Edward looked a little shy, very unusually for him, and scratched the back of his neck, apparently searching for something to do. “Edward, why do you hide the real you?”
“I show thetonthe man they want to see and gossip about. Let us leave it at that for now.”
“You will not tell me any more?” she asked quietly.
“You know most of my secrets as it is, Julia.” He gestured back to the house. “You know the greatest one too.” He was clearly referring to Lady Esther. The mere thought made Julia feel guilty. He had shared many of his secrets with her, yet she hadn’t with him.
“Shall I tell you a secret in return for all that you have shared with me?” she asked softly.
“If you like.” A small smile appeared on his face, clearly quite pleased by the prospect.