Don’t wimp out now. Do what needs to be done.
I didn’t want to deceive Shep, and I dreaded the prospect of leaving him. My throat closed over thinking about how much this betrayal would hurt him. After everything he’d done for me, he didn’t deserve to be treated this way.
My decision was bolstered by reminding myself that Shep forcing me to stay was total bullshit. It still pissed me off he’d given me no choice in how to deal with my problems.
I thought about the logistics of what I needed to do. It was a risk to go out in public, but I could remain disguised using sunglasses, hair dye and a pair of scissors. Most of America would assume I was already dead, so nobody in Illinois would look twice at a girl in a hoodie and suspect I was the missing woman from Philly.
To get off this mountain, I needed a solid escape plan. One that gave me a decent head start before Shep realized I’d gone.
An idea was forming. I didn’t have time to waste. I thought I might actually throw up while I dried myself because shit was getting real. It was a long shot, but there was a chance I could pull this off.
After dressing for the day in my usual get-up of a cinched shirt and rolled-up boxers, I walked out to the living room. Shep stood in the kitchen pouring two steaming cups of black coffee. He flashed me a smile, which made the rock in my stomach ten times heavier.
I wasn’t ready to say my silent goodbyes to Shep or Ranger. They meant so much to me, and I would miss them both. I’d never forget the generosity Shep had shown me, or that I’d be dead right now without his help. My nose stung, and I blinked to clear my blurry vision.
Pull yourself together, girl. Your brother needs you.
We drank our coffee sitting on the deck overlooking the mountains. A mist had rolled in overnight and covered the lower lands in a white fluffy blanket. I worked hard to steady the trembling cup in my hands and kept my eyes directed over the ranges. Eye contact with Shep was impossible because of what I was about to say.
“I might need you to get me some… supplies.”
He angled his head toward me. “Sure, what do you need?”
“Tampons, mostly.”
Shep’s spine went rigid.
“Maybe some peanut M&M’s and ice cream since you have zero PMS comfort food in your house.” I glanced at him and rolled my eyes because seriously, who didn’t have a single piece of candy in their pantry? He was neglecting an essential food group.
His gaze dropped to the steaming mug in his hand. “Right. Okay.”
How to make a guy go from relaxed to uncomfortable in two seconds? Start discussing the menstrual cycle.
“I’m cramping, and my boobs are killing me. Sorry if that’s too much information, but I’m going to need those things soon.”
He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “It’s no problem. I’ll head into town this morning. Why don’t you make a list of everything? Be as specific as you can because I won’t know what I’m looking for.”
“Thanks, you’re the best.”
And I was the worst. I clutched my stomach. Not because of period pains, but because my gut soured at the lie.
I wasn’t sure how long Shep would be away for, but I guessed I’d have somewhere between one and two hours to get my things together, jump on the quad bike and book it out of here. I still didn’t know whereherewas, but my plan was to find the nearest town and get on the first bus headed anywhere near Illinois.
We went inside and ate a light breakfast, although I wasn’t hungry. I forced the food down knowing I’d need energy today, and also because I didn’t want Shep becoming suspicious of my sudden loss of appetite. My nerves were getting the better of me. I needed to act natural.
I wrote up a list and added a few extra random items hoping to extend his shopping trip as much as possible.
“So, how far is the nearest town?” I asked with indifference, but this would be useful information.
He sat next to me on the sofa and tied the laces on his hiking boots. “It’s about a twenty-minute drive down the mountain. Not far. Why?”
“No reason.” I forced the smile and refocused on my book. I’d mastered the art of pretending to read.
When he made no move to leave, I glanced his way and found him staring at me. “What?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He stood and headed for the back of the house.
A minute later, he returned, jangling as he walked.