He shook his head. “I fucked up.”
“Yeah, you did.” I folded my arms.
“And I’m sorry.”
I let the silence linger before narrowing my eyes. “Is that all you’ve got to say for yourself?” He wasn’t getting out of this hole so easily.
He raked a hand through his hair. “I was scared, all right? Being with you made me so damn happy all I could think about was how unbearable it would be to have you, then lose you. I mean, how does that even happen in the space of a week when I’ve never felt that way in my entire life? And it was stupid, I know that now, but I pushed you away because I was afraid of hurting you, and having you resent me. Please believe me, Cam, I never meant those things I said. I want to be with you more than anything.”
His words melted me. My heart kicked into overdrive, and I worked hard to maintain a neutral expression.
“And?” I arched a brow.
Yeah, I was asking him to dig deep, but he needed to get these things off his chest as much as I needed to hear them. Getting Shep to open up was difficult, so we were doing this, no matter how hard he found it.
“And… I thought feeling something for another person was impossible for me. From the moment I laid eyes on you, that changed. I was living in a dark place before you came along. Somehow, you pushed the shadows away. It’s like everything is… vivid when I’m with you. Everything makes sense. And what I thought made me vulnerable only gives me strength, gives me purpose.”
Shep moved toward me. His hazel eyes dropped to my hands as he reached for them, and when his warm palms surrounded my own, my stomach went into freefall.
“I’ve missed you like crazy. I want us to be together, and I want to build a life with you. I know this makes me a selfish asshole because I still think you can do so much better than me, but I want to be the one taking care of you, and I want to be the lucky son of a bitch who gets to wake up next to you every morning.”
He moved closer still and cupped my jaw, his touch igniting my skin. The yearning in his gaze almost undid me. I struggled to draw breath, but when I did, I couldn’t help but lean into his palm and inhale his scent, which I’d missed so much.
“I love you, Cam. Been wanting to tell you that for a while now. You almost killed me with those words when you left. Please, darlin’, what’s it gonna take for you to give me another chance?” His brow creased as the moment drew on.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. Shep wanted me like I wanted him. I needed someone to pinch me, or in this case, kiss me. And I craved that more than anything, so maybe it was time to let him off the hook.
I rolled my lips together to hold back a grin. “I guess you can start by building a workshop for Helen. And all that healthy shit in your kitchen won’t do, so I’ll need candy in the pantry and ice cream in the freezer. And…” I held up my index finger. “Ranger gets to sleep on the bed with us three nights a week.”
His strained expression vanished as he rested his forehead against mine. “Goddamn, you had me worried there.”
“You kind of deserved it.” A smile spread across my face, but Shep still appeared anxious.
“I promise, Cam, I’ll try to be the man you deserve. I’ll do anything to make you happy, but if I screw up, you gotta kick my ass and let me know.”
Shep held a deep-seated fear of messing things up between us. I had my work cut out to make him believe otherwise. Yeah, he was different from any guy I’d ever met, and he had his quirks, but none of that scared me. It only made me more appreciative of the generous and kind person he’d become, despite what he’d been through.
My hands clasped the powerful lines of his neck. “I’m not an expert, but no relationship is perfect. If something comes up, we’ll talk about it and deal with it together. Just don’t lock me out again, all right?”
He nodded. “I won’t.”
“And I don’t want you to change and try to be this person you think I deserve. I love you, Shep. Exactly as you are.”
The words had barely left my lips before his mouth hungrily met mine. His arms enveloped me, clinging to me as though making up for lost time. I closed my eyes and basked in the warmth, taste, and feel of him.
This wasn’t a dream. He was alive, he was here, and he was in love with me.
He’s freaking in love with me!
Being with Shep was intoxicating. He overwhelmed my senses by demanding more with every eager caress of his tongue and every gentle nip at my lips. I gave it gladly.
This was as monumental as our first kiss, only this time it marked the beginning of something real. Something I wanted with all my heart and now had in my grasp. I’d never let him go.
One hand went to my ass, squeezing firmly as he pulled me against him. Heart pounding, every nerve ending sparked to life. I moaned into his mouth and my legs would have buckled if he hadn’t been holding me so tight.
He drew back, and both of our chests heaved from the ferocity of our kisses. The heat in his gaze had the butterflies in my stomach frenzied.
He rubbed his thumb along my bottom lip. “I’ve had six long, lonely weeks to think about all the things I want to do to you.”