Chapter 1
Ariel rubbed her hands together to keep from shaking as Kester punched in the code to his apartment in the keypad. She flinched when the door popped open, and was downright trembling as she passed him to step into his living space.
What the hell was I thinking?
They’d been on a total of four dates, if you could call them that. The first time she’d been eating lunch alone in the cafeteria and he’d asked her if he could join her. The second time, she’d run into him in one of the hallways and he’d walked her back to the Schamas’ apartment where she was currently living. At that time, he’d asked her to meet him for lunch the next day. That made three.
Were those even dates? More like bumping into each other twice and then meeting a friend for lunch. But who knew what constituted a date when one was living in an underground bunker with a few hundred people during what basically would need to be deemed an apocalypse?
Tonight had been their fourth…encounter? Dinner. Specifically planned. Again in a cafeteria where dozens of other people were also dining. But Ariel and Kester had shared a table without other people. A date, right?
At the end, he’d asked her to go back to his place. It had to be a date.
She drew in a breath as she entered his apartment. It was nearly the same as any other living space in the compound. Gray walls and concrete floors. Sparse furniture. A kitchen table that didn’t accompany appliances. Two bedrooms.
Every apartment was basically the same, with the exception of the number of attached bedrooms. This one had two, and she knew Kester Carbon lived here with Stuart Duggan. She also knew the two of them weren’t close. They simply lived together out of convenience since they’d both arrived with no families. Hell, no one was close to Stu. The man was always cranky and disgruntled. Ariel had rarely seen him smile.
“Would you like to have a seat?” Kester pointed toward the couch. “Water?”
“No. I’m fine.” She lowered herself onto the end of the couch, sitting on her hands to keep from fidgeting. She glanced around. “You’re sure Stuart doesn’t mind me being here?” What she really meant was: are you sure Stuart isn’t coming back tonight?
Kester chuckled as he sat in one of the armchairs, pointedly not next to her. “It’s my place too. I don’t really care if Stu does mind. But, he’s out on a run. He won’t be back for a few days.”
She nodded slowly, uncertain how she felt about Stuart’s presence or lack thereof. He’d been one of the first people she’d met when she’d joined The Wanderers three months ago. He’d been the one to pick her and her sister up from a rendezvous point and bring them to the compound.
The moment she’d met him, she’d been enamored. He had messy brown hair, deep brown eyes, and perfectly straight white teeth. Granted, the day she’d met him had been about the only time she’d seen his teeth. He’d smiled, making her heart race, and then he’d found out she was nineteen and put up a wall so high it was impossible to see over.
Nineteen. An adult. She knew her mind. She’d lived a life that made her feel older than her age—assuming she subtracted the fact that, until she’d left her childhood home, she’d never met another man besides her father up close. That fact did leave her a bit naïve, but only concerning relationships.
It pissed her off that Stuart treated her like she was a baby, grunting at her and bossing her around. The man was thirty. He acted like he was seventy-five.
“We didn’t have to come here, Ariel,” Kester said softly. “We can go someplace public if you’d like.”
She shook her head and forced herself to lean back against the cushions. “This is fine. I’m fine.” She smiled, though she was certain it looked forced as she met Kester’s gaze.
He was frowning, his dark eyes narrowed because he didn’t believe her. He leaned back slowly too, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankles. He was tall and slender with dark skin. His face was always smooth as if he’d just shaved, and more than once she’d thought about what it would feel like for his cheek to brush against hers. He kept his black hair cut short.
Kester cleared his throat. “You look like you’re waiting for a tooth extraction.” He unfolded his legs and rose, pushing off the armchair. “Come on. Let’s go someplace public.”
She grabbed his arm as he passed her. “No. Please. Sit with me.”
He stared down at her for a few moments before coming to her side and lowering himself onto the couch, leaving about a foot of space between them. He turned his body to the side, bending one knee up onto the cushions, and leaned his cheek against his palm. His elbow rested on the back of the sofa.
She met his gaze and then lowered hers, threading her fingers together in her lap. Her blond hair was nearly white, and it fell around her face like a welcomed curtain.
“You’re uncomfortable alone with me, Ariel. It’s unnecessary.”
She sucked in a breath and lifted her face. “I’m not. I mean, I don’t want to be. I’m trying to be…normal.”
He furrowed his brow. “Have you ever been alone with a man before?”
“Sure.” She swallowed. “My dad.” She grinned at him, hoping to lighten things.
He chuckled. “That’s what I thought. You arrived here three months ago after living off the grid with only your sister and your parents. Your life must feel like it’s a tornado. I don’t want to add to that tornado.”
“You’re not,” she defended. “I mean, it’s not you. I would be nervous no matter who you were.”
“Okay, but maybe you’re not ready to put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. And that’s okay. The compound and this community exist to ensure you always feel safe. You make your own choices here. No one living here is going to touch a hair on your head without permission. Including me. Especially me.”