“I can’t eat another bite … Until tomorrow.”
I hold her tight and rock her a little. “I know it’s a lot. I get it. I’m not an easy person to get to know. At least, that’s what people think, and I rather like people believing that about me.”
“Why? To keep them away?” She sounds drowsy, her body relaxing in my hold.
“Exactly.” I’ve never thought about it with any sort of direct clarity. But she hit it right on the head. I don’t want anyone to get close to me. Having someone really know me is a weakness, a mistake. It’s something I’ve never even considered. But with Vivian, I find I want her to know me.
“I feel like I’ve learned a lot about you today.”
I scoot back, keeping her in my lap as I pull the blanket over us. “I want to know everything about you. More about school and your plans for the future.”
“No one’s ever asked. I mean, my mom would sometimes ask me what I wanted to do for a living, but I have no idea. And then she would change the subject to whatever it was she and my father would be doing next–skydiving, scuba, some sort of hike to a Hawaiian volcano. At first, I held their disinterest against them, but then I learned to live with it. It’s just how they were, you know?”
“You should never have to learn to live with that, especially when you were still a child. You deserve parents who love you and show it.”
“But you didn’t have that either.” She breathes out on a sad sigh.
“No.”
“You deserve that kind of love, too.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do.” Her voice grows stronger, and she leans back and looks me in the eye. “Don’t ever doubt that, Griff. You deserve love, the sort that’s unconditional and unbreakable.”
Fuck, why do I feel a goddamn tingle beneath my ribs? Right where my heart should be. She’s so earnest, her eyes like pools of truth. I want to believe her, but she doesn’t know me. Not the darkness and the bad deeds. All she’s seen is me as her guardian. Whatever tales she’s heard of my ruthless business tactics aren’t even the half of what I’ve done.
She settles back against me, her breaths becoming slower until I’m certain she’s out. Her body goes lax, and I ease her next to me so she’s resting comfortably, her head still on my chest. I run my fingers through her soft hair as mama kitty jumps onto the bed. She looks at me with the same burning reproach I’m used to from Mrs. Putnam.
“I’m not going to hurt her,” I whisper to the feline. “Ever.”
She gives me a look as if to say “You better not, bitch,” then returns to her kittens in the enclosure.
I keep stroking Vivian’s hair. It seems I can’t keep my hands off her. She sleeps peacefully, and I let her. I won’t move until she’s gotten all the rest she needs. Because she deserves the same sort of rock-solid support that she just described to me.
While I realize I’m not the kind of man who’s capable of nurturing anyone, I feel like maybe Vivian is the exception to that rule. At least, I hope she is, because she’s quickly become the center of my world.
10
VIVIAN
Warmth surrounds me. It’s everywhere. I want to burrow down deeper into it and never dig my way out. I’ve never been more comfortable or content in my life. Something inside me has settled. I don’t dare move, in fear that it will all be taken away.
I drift in and out of sleep—or maybe I’m never actually awake and it’s all a dream. Griff slowly strokes my hair. If I was a kitten, I’d purr loudly so he’d know to never stop. At some point I shift, rolling to my side and wrapping my arms around his waist to ensure he can’t go anywhere now.
“Sir,” I hear someone say. I think it’s Vinnie. He was one of the men that helped with some of my boxes. I think he is in charge of security for Griff. I noticed he was the one always giving the orders to the men in black.
“You don’t ever come into Vivian’s bedroom,” Griff growls, the sound rumbling through his chest. I keep my eyes closed and don't point out that a few people had been in my room yesterday.
“Sorry, we’ve been trying to get hold of you. I think your phone isn’t working.”
“I turned it off. Leave,” Griff orders.
“Sir, it’s important.” The room grows quiet, and Griff strokes my hair again.
“I’ll come down to my office shortly.”
A moment later, I hear the door close. I expect Griff to move, but he keeps stroking my hair for a few more minutes before he finally shifts me. He’s handling me so delicately. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at how slowly he slips out from under me.