“Okay,” I agree. My heart gives a flutter. His hand goes to my back as he leads me downstairs.
His small touches all day have been driving me a bit crazy. At the same time, they somehow settled me too. When I started to get overwhelmed, with a few brushes of his hand, I forgot about everything else but him and Asher. Even for a few brief moments I’d let myself pretend we were a real family.
“Today was good,” he says when we enter the kitchen. He pulls out one of the chairs at the kitchen island, motioning for me to sit. I’m beginning to notice that Jericho is always in control, directing what is to be done. It should annoy me, but I find it comforting. The same as his touches.
“It was nice to get out of the house today. It’s been a while.”
“You weren’t able to go out with Michael at your side?” Jericho makes his way over to the fridge and starts pulling things out.
“I think that I allowed things to grow worse over time really. Growing up in the foster system, I didn't have the option to hide away. I never really had my own space. There were always people or other kids around. Once I came to stay with Michael, everything changed. This was my first real home. It was easy to let myself fall into not going anywhere or being around other people. I had craved that for so long. Then he got sick and there was no reason to go anywhere.”
“Did you and Michael ever share a room?” Jericho pulls the eggs out, setting them on the counter. When I don’t respond, he glances my way. “You said stay. Sometimes your choice of words confuses me.”
“We both liked our space.” Michael might be gone, but I don’t know what to do with some of those secrets we shared. I have this fear that if his family finds out Asher isn’t mine by blood, they might try to take him from me.
Even if Michael made sure that wasn’t possible before he passed. It’s still a fear I don’t think I’ll be getting over anytime soon. Not with how ruthless I know this family can be. When people see money on the table, they’ll do anything to have it, and I believe some of them would try to come for Asher in hopes that if they had custody of him, they could get some of that money. Anna and Lucas scare me the most. Anna has already left a few horrible voice messages on my phone, and Lucas just gives me the creeps right out. He always stares at me.
“If you’d been my wife, you would have been in my bed every night.” Jericho’s eyes hold mine. I can feel the heat rushing to my face. I have no doubt I’m blushing.
“Some relationships are just different,” I say, hoping Jericho will get the hint that I don’t want him to delve any deeper into my relationship with Michael.
“I suppose. To be honest, I never saw Michael show any interest in women or men.” He keeps on watching me. I try not to fidget because he’s right. Asher was the product of Michael and one of his experiments, as he called it.
Michael told me he’d never been sexually drawn to men or women, but he did find women beautiful. So one night he thought he’d give it a go—to at least understand sex to a degree. He decided to hire a very beautiful woman to come over. He’d once told me the crazy odds of him accidentally getting this woman pregnant, but I thought it was fate.
At the time, he didn’t know he had a time stamp on his life already, and this gave the world more of him. It also brought him and me together. I have no clue where I’d be today without Michael and Asher. They’ve changed my life for the better in so many ways.
“You’re not wrong.” I shrug, not giving any more than that. After Michael’s little experiment, he came to the realization that he just wasn’t a sexual person.
“Is that why you kissed me?” I lick my lips, thinking about that kiss.
As mad as Jericho was when he found out that I was the woman marrying his cousin, I hadn’t regretted the kiss one bit. I’d used that kiss as inspiration so many nights when I’d laid in bed alone.
I knew with Michael there was an expiration date on us. It was why he’d asked me to marry him to begin with. Honestly, I think I would have been okay being married to him forever. I’d often wondered if I was a bit like Michael. Then Jericho walked into my life, and those thoughts went right out the window.
“I kissed you because I had to,” I admit.