Page 14 of How Much I Want

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SOFIA

What the hell am I doing with this guy? He’s too sexy, too slick, too everything, and yet, I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to him. It’s been this way since I met him during one of my first shifts at Giordino’s, after the family swooped in to help us after Mateo’s diagnosis. Livia and Marlene raised money for us, offered me a job and generally made me part of their family.

I’m so incredibly grateful to them, which is why I’ve felt guilty for secretly crushing on Livia’s sexy grandson. No matter how many times I tell myself I have no space in my life for a man, anytime he’s around, he’s all I see or think about.

While dealing with a difficult divorce and custody battle and nursing my son back to health after a hellish ordeal, the last thing I need is more drama in my life.

Nico Giordino is drama personified, or at least he has been in the past if the warnings from his family members are to be believed. And I do believe them. Carmen, Maria and Dee were pained telling me to watch out for him, as if it hurt them to be disloyal to their cousin and brother. But their concern for me was truly touching. I’ve missed having girlfriends, and each of them has become a good friend over the last year.

Maybe I’m a fool, but I believe him when he says he wants to be a better man for me and Mateo. The only way I can find out for certain is to let him try, to let him in. I hate feeling like I’m starting something that won’t end well, especially after having already been down that road with my ex. In the back of my mind, I knew from the beginning that probably wouldn’t end well, and I did it anyway because I wanted out of my mother’s home so badly. I went all in with him and ended up pregnant and married to a man who wasn’t worthy of either of us. I don’t regret anything with him, though, because I got my Mateo out of it. He’s worth any hell or heartache I had to go through.

But I’d like to think I can learn from past mistakes, and falling into this thing with Nico has heartache written all over it.

“What’re you guys doing tomorrow?” he asks.

“Nothing much.” I haven’t spoken to my mother in months. “We’re going to have a nice quiet day, just the two of us.”

Without looking up from what he’s doing, he says, “Do you want to come with me to my mom’s?”

As if that sort of thing is no big deal.

“You can’t just invite people to someone else’s house on Christmas.”

“It’s my parents, and yes, I can. They’d be mad if I didn’t invite you.”

I give him a skeptical look. “Your mom has enough people to feed without adding more.”

“My mom loves to feed people, and she’d love to have you two. But only if you want to. No pressure. I can hang here with you guys.”

“You’re not doing that. You need to be with your family on Christmas.”

“I need to be sure you guys are safe. I didn’t like the vibe I got from him today. He’s looking for trouble, and with him locked up, there might be others looking for trouble.”

“That’s nothing new. It’s just how it is.”

“Was he always that way?”

“Not like he is now. He’s changed a lot in the last few years. I barely recognize him anymore.”

He sits back against the sofa and takes a sip from his glass. “What happened?”

“I wish I knew. I suspect it might be mental health issues, but don’t try to suggest that to him. He doesn’t want to hear it. He was always difficult and moody. The cruelty started after we were married a year or so. At first, it was just verbal abuse that escalated to emotional and physical abuse. I’d only just recently worked up the courage to leave when Mateo got sick. I almost went back when I couldn’t pay my rent.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I would’ve had to if it hadn’t been for your grandmothers and the Giordino family.”

“Thank goodness for them.”

“I say that every single day. I have no idea what would’ve become of me and Mateo without their generosity and the job that allows me to live independent of him and my mother, who’s almost as bad as he is. Not quite, but close.” It’s all I can do not to shudder thinking of her. She made my life a living hell before I traded one hell for another.

My goal now is to make good decisions for myself and my son.

“So tomorrow… What do you think?”

“Are you sure your mom won’t mind?”

“I’m positive, but I could text her if that would make you feel better.”


Tags: Marie Force Romance