“But?”
“It’s hard for me to explain this to you because you haven’t been through what I have.”
“Will you try?” I want more than anything to understand her at the deepest possible level.
“I, um, when I was with him, I had nothing. No job, no money, no say in anything, no control over any aspect of my life. He was in charge of everything. I took care of Mateo, and that was my role. That and being available anytime he wanted sex. Other than that, I was nothing. I was just there.”
“It would never be like that with us. You said yourself everything is different with me.”
“It is, but…”
I frame her face with my hands and compel her to look at me. “Whatever it is, just say it, and we’ll figure it out.”
“You’d want us to live at your house.”
“Well, yeah, I mean, unless you hate it.”
“Of course I don’t hate it. It’s a beautiful home. But it’s yours.”
All at once, I get what she’s saying. “We can buy something that’s ours.”
“That would be stupid when you have a perfectly good house that you already own. It’s just that I’m afraid of going back to a place where I have no say over my own life.”
“I know they’re just words, but I swear on my life that will never happen to you if you’re with me. Ever.”
“I want more than anything to believe in you and us, but I’ve learned to be careful giving someone else the legal power to control me.”
“I understand. Let me think about it, okay? I’m sure we can figure out something that’ll make you feel comfortable.”
“Maybe we could just live together or something. Why do we have to get married?”
“I guess we don’t have to, but I’d kind of like to. At some point.”
“Have you always pictured yourself married?”
“No, never,” I say with a laugh. “I had zero interest in marriage until I found someone I couldn’t live without.”
She smiles and runs her hands over my chest on the way to curling them around my neck. “After everything with him, I wasn’t looking for this, for you.”
“I wasn’t looking for it either, but then there you were, looking so sexy in your waitress uniform, and I had to know you.”
We hold each other for a long time, until someone knocks on the bathroom door, forcing us to let go. For now, anyway.
I open the door to my cousin Dom.
“Are you guys doing it in there?”
“No, we’re not doing it, so shut up.”
“If you say so.”
I push him out of the way and lead Sofia back to the party while thinking about the things she said. She goes to check on Mateo while I seek out a beer at the bar. I take the seat next to my dad.
“Where’d you disappear to?” he asks, pushing the dominoes on the bar toward me for a game.
I go through the rote motions of placing tiles, but my heart isn’t in it. “I was inside talking to Sofia.”
“Everything all right?”