“You know!”
Laughing, I hug her tightly. “You do what you need to with him. I’ll support whatever you decide.”
“You won’t be mad if I see him?”
“Not if you feel it’s something you need to do.”
“I think maybe I’ll go, for Mateo. Only for him.”
“Okay.”
She pulls back to look up at me. “This is not how it goes for me. I was ready for you to be mad.”
“I’m not going to get mad. Would I like to kill him for what he did to Milo? Yep, but I’d never do that, because he’s also Mateo’s father. Rather, I’ll look forward to seeing him convicted and put away for a long time while I have the honor of raising his son. If you’ll allow me to, that is.”
She goes completely still, and her face loses all expression.
That’s not the reaction I was hoping for.
“Say something.”
“You…”
“I want to raise Mateo. I want to marry you. I want to have more babies and a life and everything that goes with that, and I want it with you and him. I want it all, Sofia.” So much for waiting for her to be officially divorced before I propose to her.
“But I’m the first girlfriend you’ve ever had!”
“And hopefully the last.”
“Nobody marries their first girlfriend.”
“Some people do. And they live happily ever after.”
“You should really think about this.”
“I have. It’s all I’ve thought about almost since the day we first met.”
“Stop.” She tries to get free of me, and I let her go out of deference to what she’s been through in the past, not because I want to let her go. “Don’t say things like that.”
To Dee, I say, “You got him?” I point to Mateo.
She gives me a thumbs-up.
I follow Sofia inside.
She goes straight to the main-floor bathroom and tries to close the door, but I’m right behind her and go in with her and shut the door.
“I want to be alone.”
“Why? So you can try to figure out what kind of game I’m playing here? Let me make it clear—I’m playing the game of life, Sofia. My life, your life, Mateo’s. I want us to be a family.”
To my great horror, she begins to cry. These aren’t the elated tears my sister shed during her wedding. No, these are more of the heartbroken variety. “Talk to me, sweetheart. Why are you so upset?” I notice her hands are shaking, and she’s more upset than I’ve ever seen her, even after Milo was shot.
“I… After everything with Joaquín and what it took me to get free of him… I promised myself I’d never get married again so I’d never be legally bound to a man who could control me the way he did.”
I ache over what that son of a bitch put her through. “I get that, and I understand why you’d make yourself that kind of promise after the way he treated you. But I’m not him. I just want to make you and Mateo happy and keep you safe and give you the best possible life and family I can. I’d never want to control you or tell you what to do or keep you from doing things that make you happy. Whatever you want, that’s what I want, too.”
“And I love you so much for that.”